Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Two from me.1. "I haven't had a cunt....!"
I got pulled over on the way back from the pub (I was the designated driver) and when the Policeman got to my open car window, my mate sitting next to me said "I haven't had a cunt drinkstable!". I got a 35 minute telling off, in said Policeman's car, and had to produce all my vehicles documents and a written apology from my mate for being a twat.
2. Burglars and IRA Bombers
When a student I moved house, from one side of the road to another. One of neighbours phoned the police to say I was burglaring my own house. 2 CID officers turned up and I explained what was going on, much to their limited amusement. Then my irish friend who was helping me move came in and said hello to the CID.
Two days later I went to his house, and bounded in saying "Alright you bunch of cocks, who's for smoke then?". The 2 CID officers were questioning him about an IRA bombing that had happened in London, thinking he was IRA. He and I were in London that weekend, getting pissed with his brother. When asked why he was under suspicion, they answered "He's Irish and has long hair"!!!!!!!!!! His aliby checked out and when they left we smoked ourselves into the next week.
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Toma_o, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 11:18,
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