Breakin' The Law
'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
( , Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
( , Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Not a run in with the law as such, but my god it could have been.
A couple of years back, I went to Glastonbury and hopped the fence. I had such a great time that on the way home I was feeling generous and decided to give a lift to a pair of hitchhikers.
They turned out to be Czech, over here working for a couple of years, and generally very nice.
They were going to Oxford (I was going to London), but I took them most of the way anyway. At one point we're driving along an A road (forget which one), and I miss the turning towards Oxford.
No problem, I thought - this was a single carriageway, and it was 1 AM by now so the road was pretty clear.
I whipped the car round and started making my way back to the turning I missed... and for some reason now the hitchhikers seemed to get all tense.
"Are you sure you can do this?", one of them asks. Yeah, no problem, says I (thinking she was talking about doing a three point turn).
A few minutes back down the road, I reach the junction - but for some reason, the signs are pointing the wrong way... and there's a road running parallel to this one on my left... and the junction is at some mad angle....
Oh. Apparently this was actually a dual-carriageway, and I'd just turned round and started driving back the wrong way.
The hitchhikers got out as quick as they could, and I drove home very carefully.
(In my defence, there were no streetlights and the bit where I turned round was where the carriageways have split up!)
Funnily enough, I drove past 3 cars whilst I was driving in the wrong direction. They didn't flash me or anything.. I wonder what they were thinking?
( , Thu 8 Jan 2004, 16:57, Reply)
A couple of years back, I went to Glastonbury and hopped the fence. I had such a great time that on the way home I was feeling generous and decided to give a lift to a pair of hitchhikers.
They turned out to be Czech, over here working for a couple of years, and generally very nice.
They were going to Oxford (I was going to London), but I took them most of the way anyway. At one point we're driving along an A road (forget which one), and I miss the turning towards Oxford.
No problem, I thought - this was a single carriageway, and it was 1 AM by now so the road was pretty clear.
I whipped the car round and started making my way back to the turning I missed... and for some reason now the hitchhikers seemed to get all tense.
"Are you sure you can do this?", one of them asks. Yeah, no problem, says I (thinking she was talking about doing a three point turn).
A few minutes back down the road, I reach the junction - but for some reason, the signs are pointing the wrong way... and there's a road running parallel to this one on my left... and the junction is at some mad angle....
Oh. Apparently this was actually a dual-carriageway, and I'd just turned round and started driving back the wrong way.
The hitchhikers got out as quick as they could, and I drove home very carefully.
(In my defence, there were no streetlights and the bit where I turned round was where the carriageways have split up!)
Funnily enough, I drove past 3 cars whilst I was driving in the wrong direction. They didn't flash me or anything.. I wonder what they were thinking?
( , Thu 8 Jan 2004, 16:57, Reply)
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