Not what it is cracked up to be.
I was 39. She was 18.

Teasing me at work for weeks, I didn't really believe she was interested. At a petite 4'11, dusky and seductive.

Go on they all said, you lucky lucky bastard. So I did. She came round one day after work and stayed about three days. What the hell I thought, every old mans dream right?

Wrong.

House full of her sponging mates, empty fucking fridge, her dusky half spanish heritage and petite height made for sex like fucking the still warm corpse of Frodo Baggins.

The tipping point was when she vommitted all over my new sofa, across the lounge and bathroom and passed out head first in the toilet.

I have to say I lost my rag a little and asked her and her friends to leave.

Looking back I think I made the right decision as my last impressions of the young lady was of her friends dragging her by a leg each face down along the pavement, G string pulled around her knees, still unconscious and with a snail like trail of puke/drool leading from her mouth up the pavement, through the porch and into the bathroom.

Ladies, as you get older and think men like the younger models YOU ARE VERY WRONG.
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:32, 15 replies)

I read to three-quarters of the way through thinking this was going to be another dog-related story.
DISAPPOINTED.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:36, closed)

Hahaha, you fucking mug.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:37, closed)

I couldn't stay away.

( WormuIus, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:03, closed)

Just saying, like.
One of my exes was petite and dusky, and at no point during our carnal relations did she make me think of Frodo Baggins. The mental association sounds a teeny bit ghey.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:40, closed)

You think so?
It was on the third day when she came out with "I'm quite hairy and shaving gets to be a real chore"

That's when I noticed the hairy hands, a vagina like a cats face and when I flipped her over to try it "Cornish style" it was seriously hobbit like.

What a difference 24 hours makes in the world of female grooming. I am glad I am not a girlie.
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:43, closed)

Ah, I see.
Was she Portuguese by any chance?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:51, closed)

Cornish style?
I've seen comments about pasty faced girls but now realise I misread.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:00, closed)

Arf!

(SimianKid internet faffer, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:01, closed)

Yes....
You know she's a Cornish girl when you suggest she might like to try the "other hole" and get the reply that it's too early to try for a baby.
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:31, closed)

Hahahaha pwned.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:50, closed)

This QoTW is just perfect.

( WormuIus, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:04, closed)

It's amazing.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:26, closed)

Oh, I really want to call you a nonce, over this.
Spoilsport!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:40, closed)

oops
Minimum age of 26 in my books.
I did go out with a girl of 19 when I was 28, it wasn't great to start off but she did calm down. But never again.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:40, closed)

You need
7 more years.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 2:56, closed)