So what about people
who still wake up screaming, trying to run away from a dreamed/remembered crowd of people bigger, faster and with far more of a tendancy to violence than the dreamer? Or have suffered physical abuse and still hurt when they walk or stand a certain way? Should they forget it?

Okay, so being called "gay" is hardly the worst thing that can happen to you. But combined with a load of other stuff- especially during your formative years- it can have very long-lasting effects.

If you've not suffered it to that magnitude, then (appropriately enough) bully for you. But others have had it far worse than you for far longer than you to the point where it became a major factor in their development, woven into their every experience and memory. And given that its our experiences that shapes us, that means that it affects us still.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 18 May 2009, 11:27, 1 reply)

No, I'm not saying "forget it"
in the slightest. And what happened to me for 8 years *was* a major factor in my development. Although a lot of people have had it a lot worse.

The point I was trying to make is that the important thing is to deal with the issue, not major on thoughts of revenge or hatred to those that caused it. Getting revenge is not going to take away the pain; wishing harm on others who have caused you harm - what's the point ?

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" - Mahatma Ghandi.

It's all about not sinking down to their level. And not letting them cause you pain in the present by being wrapped up a negative relationship with them. Letting go, moving on, finding peace. You won't find peace if you're wishing evil on others - in my opinion.
( I_Was_Mordred, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:30, closed)