My mate's cousin...
....let's call him Dave (for his name was Tom), has become legendary for his bullshit after a visit he paid in 2002. Dave was a Texan who was loose with the truth in his retelling of past stories and in his assessment of his present situations. Maybe he thought us doe-eyed young Irish bucks would lap up his tales of drinking prowess and his fast life of crime in the States, but our doubts about him had crept in within minutes of meeting the guy.

Examples of his lies:

"Hey Dave, how many beers have you had?"

"Eh, um, 38"......(he had bought 12 and drank about 8......we were all 17)

2 minutes later

"Hey Dave, how many beers have you had?"

"97" (ninety-frickin'-seven he says!.....what a ludicrous person)

On retelling a story of one of his "buddies" back home:

"Yeah, he drank, like 2 bottles of nearly 200 proof absinthe in ten minutes, that's like nearly 100 percent alcohol i suppose. He fuckin' died for fifteen minutes that night, but made it to school the next day"

Dave, on one of his run-ins with the law:

"The cop's were giving us shit, so I got all up in the guy's face until he pulled his gun on me and we just ran.....the cop shot me in the back of the leg with a (says calibre of gun), i suppose it's about as powerful as a magnum"

"Hey Dave, let me see your scar?"

"Yeah, um, I don't know if there was a scar, but the bullet went through my calf and exited out my shin" (he never did say what happened afterwards)

After he got through about 11 tins, he started a fight with the owner of the house we were drinking in, got sick, sort of cried a bit and had to be taken home to his cousin's. Ahh bless!
(El_diablo_blanco, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 7:44, Reply)