Maps? what do THEY know?
So, it was a typical weekend - I'd gone to meet some mates in the charming area that is Romford*, taking with me a couple of grammes of pretty good speed - couple of lines, few beers and I was in total bullshit mode - eyes like saucers, mouth moving like a badly dubbed foreign film - so, picture the scene:

We (about 12 or so of us) were in some dive of a pub trying to pull the classy Essex women (as a sign of how fucked up we were, none of us could get off with those paragons of virtue), and Bob (not his name - too far back to remember what it was now, so Bob will do) started mumbling on about the Russians and how the UK would be annihilated if it came to a nuclear strike.

In my amphetamine fuelled haze I found myself coherently (to myself anyway) explaining that Russia was actually on the South Pole and that maps were just propaganda to scaremonger. I kept this up for a few different pubs and over the period of a few hours, totally convinced this guy I was right (it was Romford ok?) - so much so that a few weeks later I got a call from my mate Kev to tell me that Bob was still trying to convince people of my 'theory'

So, a bit rubbish really, but I convinced an Essex boy that penguins were Russian really...

*This was the weekend when, recovering on the Sunday in a quiet pub, Kev laid an egg in some random guy's paper while he was in the loo - watching him come back to his table, open the paper up and have a large lager log fall onto his lap was priceless...
( snee held his breath since, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 8:24, Reply)