My stepmother won't bullshit you - SHE FUCKING WON'T!
A few days after telling a 12-ish YO me that my dad had never loved my mum "because he and I have been together forever, actually", she was bollocking on about how a friend of hers (in itself difficult to comprehend) was a builder, and he had 10 sugars in his tea! 10!

"Rubbish" I said casually, "You couldn't dissolve that much sugar in a cup of tea."

"YES YOU CAN!" she screamed immediately in response, "YES YOU CAN! LOOK! WATCH! JUST WATCH! WATCH!" as she proceeded to boil the kettle, make a cup of tea, and dissolve 10 teaspoons of sugar into it, all the while screaming "WATCH!" every 30 seconds or so.

Doing so seems to leave quite a sludge behind, but by the way she was shaking and so red in the face, and the fact that she was more than happy to slap my dad about a bit if necessary made me think it probably wasn't worth mentioning.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:29, 6 replies)

Wow, just wow.
Is your stepmum Sarah Palin?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:32, closed)

My mind interpreted that
as Michael Palin
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:33, closed)

I read it as Sarah Parish
out of Cutting It and Mistresses. Stepmum might have been a mad bully, but nice baps on her. Kudos to dad.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:36, closed)

I read Michael Winner

( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:03, closed)

I like your step-mother
in much the same way a botanist like a new strain of mould - fascinating and needs studying.

You ought to write a book like the books the shelves of Tesco were filled with a couple of years ago. The ones that all looked like this

www.amazon.co.uk/Dont-Tell-Mummy-Ultimate-Betrayal/dp/0007223765/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1295022987&sr=8-10
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:37, closed)

Here's the science bit
According to the solubility curve for Sugar, it is very temperature dependent.

You can dissolve about 180 g sugar / 100 ml water near freezing (or about 1.8g/ml)
You can dissolve about 500 g sugar / 100 ml water near boiling. (or about 5g/ml)

So, assuming the tea was hot, and say 300ml for a cupful, you can theoretically dissolve around 1.5kg of sugar in a cup. 10 spoons is about 50ml or 35g.

Your stepmum is clearly something out of a fairy story (is your real name Cinderella?) but she might have been right on this one.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:40, closed)

Presence of dissolved tea solids and milk may skew your data a bit
but essentially you're right.

As was stepmum. Mad too, by the sound of it.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:42, closed)

Mrs Vagabond occassionally asks me to tell new friends or visitors some of her favourite stories.
It's not infrequent that people call bullshit at me (only a few weeks ago, the response was "Fuck off. Fuck off! FUCK OFF!" as I reached the climax of the nude poster story), but I assure you each and every one is damnably true in every detail.

EDIT: Incidentally, your signature is absolutely superb.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:43, closed)