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This is a question Bullshit and Bullshitters

We've had questions about lies and liars in the past, but this time we're asking about the sort of fantasist who constantly claims they've got a helicopter in the garden or was "second onto the balcony at the Iranian Embassy siege". Tell us about the cobblers you've been told, or the complete lies you've come out with.

Thanks to dozer for the suggestion

(, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:55)
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i'm sure we all know of a bitch that's pulled this stunt
K was desperate. she was seriously besotted with M, but he wasn't all that interested in her, possibly because she has a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.
in the pub one night, K discovered to her delight that M found her much more attractive when he'd been drinking. every weekend after that, K would be there, buying M as many pints as he liked, just so he'd jump in the sack with her at the end of the night.
eventually, M got bored with this and found himself a girlfriend. K was beside herself with jealousy so, when her best friend announced she was pregnant, K "borrowed" her positive pregnancy test and took it to M, telling him that she was up the spout and he was the father.
there have been plenty of women that have tricked blokes into relationships and even marriages with this old chestnut, but this time, the bullshit backfired.
at the age of 14, M had had chickenpox, or possibly mumps. whatever the illness, it had rendered him sterile. he quickly and gleefully told K that, if she was indeed pregnant, it was nothing to do with him. K became even more of a local laughing stock than she had been before.
when she finally did have a child about 18 months later, she managed to snare another bloke with the "it's your baby" line. despite the fact that both of them have brown hair and brown eyes, whilst the baby has blonde hair and blue eyes(coincidentally, just like the new bloke's best mate, who he'd refused to believe she'd been boffing on the sly), new bloke has accepted the child as his.
they're about as happy as you'd expect.
(, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:13, 6 replies)
Circle of shite
She was probably an unloved kid herself, perpetuating the abuse that fucked her up in the first place.
(, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:31, closed)
true
sadly
(, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 21:17, closed)

Or the genetics could just come from her.
(, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 4:23, closed)
the kid is the absolute image of the mate
down to the turned-up nose and the squinty eye
(, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 21:17, closed)

It's possible for two brown haired brown eyed people to create a baby with blonde hair and blue eyes. But not the other way round.
(, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 19:07, closed)
and also to create a baby
that looks just like the "father"'s best mate?
(, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:42, closed)

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