golden graham
so dubbed because of his somewhat ginger nature and his name. imaginative lot, us kids. not as fuckin imaginative as him though!
'the brother'
he'd moved from essex. older brother was, by all accounts, hard enough to feature on chuck norris's pyjamas most nights.
his alleged ventures included beating up/killing whole gangs, being wanted by the mafia, and driving the equivalent of a honda accord made of massive drugs riding on 24"rims made from the hymens of an infinite number of supermodels. he was, in short, a diamond-tipped bonaq fide legend.

'the samurai sword'
this mythical chav excalibur could,and inded HAD, sliced CLEAN THROUGH A METAL LAMP POST in one swing of the protagonists noodly ginger arm. was now in the posession of his brother. presumably for trimming his tungsten-carbide tipped nails.

'the territorial army'
where he was a member, having been kicked out of the real army for being too much of a badass. he sounds more and more like mike from spaced, doesn't he? he was 14 at the time.
claimed to havre driven tanks, fired rpg's, and be able to kill you with his martial arts madness.

these are but a few of the lies.
with hindsight, he was a lonely soulless ginge looking for love in all the wrong places, and we should have accepted him more. didn't help himself though. afaik, still obsessed with the army, but can't join due to having snapped both tendons in his legs doign some kind of mega backflip off a building while kicking ninjas in the face, and having nylon achilles tendons.
legend.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 14:19, 5 replies)

The thing about Graham
was that when you called bullshit his mum would pipe up and claim that it was all true. She was a total enabler to his bullshit.

He also had a really shit paw print tattoo and for a time insisted on being called "Chance" probably because he watched Hard Target. He once uttered the immortal line "My name is Chance, because you always take a chance with me"
( Peej, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 15:19, closed)

no, it was because you took a chance, talking to him
on what, he never specified, but possibly a chance of getting a high speed truckload of bullshit upsie the head.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 15:21, closed)

If you change your mind
Baby I'm still free
Take a chance on me
( Peej, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 15:22, closed)

you missed
"im the first in line"

not that im into Abba or anything...

*backs away, as if said too much*
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 15:53, closed)

* narrows eyes *

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 17 Jan 2011, 15:59, closed)