As I haven't seen Axeman Jim around in a while
I think I'll post something he wrote, it's one of my favourite posts ever -

I think you can see where this is going.

However, I have been in a position to exact revenge on these scumbags on two occasions.

1 - Bus 65, Kingston-Ealing. Two teenage girls start their ridiculous tinny warbling from their stupid walkie talkies.

"Please turn that off" say I.
"Fuck off" say they.
"I don't want to listen to that" say I.
"It's a free country, innit? You can't stop us" say they.

In my bag, I have the following:

*An MP3 player full of the latest rockin thrash metal sounds.
*A pair of battery powered speakers.
*Balls of steel.

Cue, as a starter, "Army of Me" by Chimaria, a fine, rousing tune if ever there was one. Especially when turned up to 11.

"Turn that shit off" say they.
"Free country, innit?" say I.

After about 5 minutes (during which the deafening musical selection had changed to the soothing tones of "I will be heard" by Hatebreed) they turned off their phones. So did I.

2 - Bus 418, Kingston-Epsom

Similar scenario, this time 4 girls about 13 years of age.

This time, however, my armament was different, comprising:

*An acoustic guitar.
*Two mates.
*Three skinfuls of beer, shared out between us.

It's amazing how long three pissed blokes can keep up a rousing chorus of "I've got a song that'll get on your nerves." And as we were all musicians, we did the harmonies, and the secret second verse, which goes "We've got a song that'll piss off some chavs."

So if you're on a bus in South-West London, some chav is playing shitty music from their phone, and no-one else can help, maybe you can hire:

Axeman Jim and his weapons of sonic doom.

Taken from b3ta.com/questions/publictransport/post165634
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 13:42, 3 replies)

you're hired.
when can you start?
(tb2571989 dies at precisely, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 13:48, closed)

Nerd fact of the day
The 65 is mny favourite of all buses (although not so good since it stopped running from Surbiton). Mind you, any bus that takes you away from Kingston is a good thing. The 111 to Hampton is for cunts, though.
(D1sc0 Yes sir, I can boogie., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:13, closed)

Buses
are awful and I do not envy the drivers having to put up with some of the absolute muppets who use them. This is why I much prefer driving in my car as, though not quite a Jaguar, it provides a refuge from everyday cunts and I can blast my music as loud as I want. Rawk! \m/
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:15, closed)