I got a job at directory enquiries one summer
Two weeks of putting up with calls from people asking the time, kids on prank calls, and a hellish time management system that timed how long you took to go for a piss when you were on duty.

Management pitted colour coded teams against each other, trying to achieve record numbers of calls week in, week out.

We were supposed to be each taking an average of 120 calls per hour; one enquiry every 30 seconds. I got reprimanded during my training because, instead of pressing the button that diverts a customer through to a machine to have their chosen number read out automatically (thus allowing me to take another call), I had the gall to read out the number on my screen to this (elderly, partially deaf chap).

Luckily I got fired after my 2 week probabation. Whilst my morning call averages were ok, my 2 pints at the pub next door every day didn't do wonders for my afternoon times.

I also blatantly abused my power, by helping an adopted friend to find out contact details of his birth parents, using the vast DQ database of UK peoples (This was before the internet made it virtually redundant)
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 12:34, 1 reply)

Please sir, can I have some more?
Yeah the timed piss was what really got on my nerves - I'd get a printout at the end of the week where the line manager went through your 'timeout' and asked why you were away from the phones so long at 3.14 last Friday. . .
(moosefish, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 23:43, closed)