How can i help?
Some proper munters called me when i worked for a well know tour operator.

One guy called to complain because there were fish swimming beside him in the sea - why didn't we warn him

One cocksniffer demanded to know how many 'ply' the toilet paper was going to be at his hotel. 3-ply as it turned out.

when being informed that her trip to the maldives included a seaplane transfer this particular spaktard decided she didn't want to go after all Why? SHe thought she was going to have to parachute out of the seaplane.

on a busy saturday morning a proper mudstoat called in and asked if we had any 'free holidays', as his mate told hem they gave free ones away if they were leaving that day. he sounded terribly disappointed

had a nuisance mong who would call in several times a day to book a holiday to bumsexual central 'mykonos'. And would then ask for tips on where the best poof bars where. he sounded about 60 and was definitely deranged.

received a distressed call from a woman, i could hear tearful sobs in the background, she was at passport control who, on onspecting her sons passport found it was several months out of date. she hadn't checked, and now she wasn't going on holiday.

and the countless times i would tick every fucking box that these stupid fucking amoebas would set before me..find them the deal of their dreams, under budget, for them to say, well, i just want to think about it...REALLY, well why don't you think about playing a game on the motorway you fucking CUNT.

after many months of idiotic calls, i started on at this woman....mostly people would come on and say 'i want the cheapest holiday you have got' this became very fucking tiring after the gazillionth time. so i turn on her and ask her why is it that people insist on going on the cheapest nastiest holiday they can find, i mean, you wouldn't walk into a restuarant and ask for their cheapest meal, or an estate agents and ask for their cheapest house. Add to this the fact that people generally only go on holiday once a year, and for that brief time they are happy to spend as little as possible on it......she never had any answers for me.

or the shitboxes that would say 'oh, we only want a wee cheap holiday, this is the fifth time we have been away this year' etc as if i FUCKING CARE.

one of the most bizarre was a call i took from a woman, who was still on holiday in benidorm, she was calling from the hotel foyer and wanted to book again for the next year. she sounded pissed and it was only midday.

In retropsect though, i really enjoyed it, the atmosphere was very laid back and i met some good folk, and a few cunts, especially a big galloot call 'grey-ham' ;-) AND this one time i made, after tax £135 on one booking, that took about 10 minutes to complete.

call centres can be good, sometimes
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 15:23, 3 replies)

I can see where you're coming from about the amoebas,
But... I think most people have a budget of for instance £500 call the number/go in the travel agents get the quote and then see if someone else can beat the price, which is the 'think about it' excuse.
(Kip, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 19:55, closed)

yes
i agree. but the thing is, when this is happening on about 75% of calls AND as we are the tour operator we could always offer them the best price on that particular holiday.

The best/worst one was this mong who called up for a £99 per person deal to Ibiza....generally these deals would sell out within an hour. Not this day, i found the deal and for 4 adults the price was exactly £396 for a weeks decent 3*....under a hundred quid each, now that is a bargain in anyones language.

"erm, i'll have to think about it"

"well tell you what, in th etime that you are thinking about it, the holiday will sell out"

"yeah, but i still want to think about it"

"so, why did you phone in the first place?"

"to see if you have the deal"

"we do, do you want to book it with me now, there are only a few places left"

"i'll call back tomorrow"

"you do that sir, goodbye"

honest to fucking god, these idiots didn't have a fucking clue WHAT they wanted.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 9:48, closed)

Well, the thing is
THEY don't know you've got the best deal. You're the faceless sales monkey on the other end of the line. You could be telling any old crap in order to seal the deal.

Yes, its their mistake and they've lost out on the deal... but forgive them, they know not what they do.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Sun 6 Sep 2009, 18:17, closed)