Ha! Who's the dick now?
Dealing with call centres

I have literally wept with frustration at dealing with these people. I am not angry with the actual people themselves, I am angry with the companies for making me jump through hoops to speak to the right people.

Example.

My internet goes down. I know it must be the exchange, because I just know. Nothing has changed in my hardware from when it worked fine the night before.

So I call up my ISP.

Me: hi, I think my exchange is down do you have a timescale for having it fixed please?

CSR: Is your computer turned or switched to the on position please?

Me: Uh, yeah it’s on. Look, I am in IT can we dispense with the pleasantries and you do a line test and then liase with your tech dept and give me a time scale?

CSR: Could you please turn off your computer and wait 30 seconds and then turn it back on please? Then tell me if you see the Windows Vista™ logo please?

Me: Look I assure you it is not the computer, the computer works fine, the router works fine, it’s the exchange.

CSR: Could you please turn off your computer and wait 30 seconds and then turn it back on please? Then tell me if you see the Windows Vista™ logo please?

Me : ok, I have turned it on and off, but I don’t run windows I have a Mac and it runs Leopard.

CSR: What is a leopard?

Me: It’s a type of wild cat but that’s not the point, it’s an operating system for Macs.

CSR: I am only trained to support Windows based computers. Are you running Windows XP ™?

Me: It’s not a computer issue I assure you…

CSR: Are you running Windows 98SE ™?

Me: Please put me through to the technical department.

CSR: Does your router have flashing lights?

Me : Yes of course it has flashing lights, it’s a router!

CSR: There is no need to raise your voice sir. I am trying to help you.

Me: No, I think you are exacerbating the situation.

Pause. Not sure if they know what ‘exacerbate’ means.

CSR: Does your router have flashing lights?

Me : Yes. Yes it does.

CSR: Is the router plugged in?

Me: Yes! Yes!

I actually look down. It is unplugged slightly. The missus was vacuuming this morning. I plug it back in. The INTERNET works.

CSR: Are the light flashing green or yellow?

Me: Uh…I think the exchange has been fixed. Bye.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 18:13, 4 replies)

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
*points and laughs*
( spesh., Fri 4 Sep 2009, 18:20, closed)

*snerk*

(Scritty Bakerman., Sat 5 Sep 2009, 1:11, closed)

*sniggers*
But, admit it or not - we'll all done something similar...

/shame
( snee held his breath since, Mon 7 Sep 2009, 11:22, closed)

ha!
didn't see that coming
(bobming, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 10:40, closed)