"You need a new client machine setting up?"
That was the question asked of the customer when they rang to tell us that one of their old client machines had gone pop in the tech support company I work for.

It turns out that a hardware fault had killed one of the old PCs at one of the customer sites that we support and they needed our software setting up so they could carry on with their work.

First things first, lets establish that they have a machine capable of running our software. Joy of joys they have had the brain power to buy a suitable box with all the right stuff needed.

"Right," we said, "we need you to install the remote desktop software we use in order to carry out the install remotely. Can you open a browser window and type this address in?"

A simple enough request met with an unexpected response.

"What's a browser?"

"Well, you've used Internet Explorer before, right? That's a browser."

Luckily yes, they have used it before.

"So can you open the browser please?" we asked.

"Not at the moment, no."

Okay, maybe they haven't got an internet connection. Lets test that.

"Are you on the internet there?"

"Yes, we can all get on the internet, I'm on it now, thats how I got your number."

"Ah, okay," we're getting somewhere at last, "Can you type this address into your address bar?"

"I don't need it installing on this machine, it's on the new machine."

This is starting to get a bit odd now.

"Okay, can you move over to the new machine and open a browser for me?"

And this is where the whole reason they couldn't do this in the first place becomes *very* clear.

"Well, we haven't unpacked it yet."

"It's still in the box?"

"Yes, it only arrived half an hour ago."

"Riiiiiight...."

"I thought you could do all this remotely?" for some reason the customer sounds baffled.

"Well we can," we replied, "but it does kind of depend on the PC being on."

Oddly the customer seemed to think that we could assemble, plug in, turn on and install software onto a computer... over the phone.

I think the customer was on hold for 5 minutes until the entire office, who had been listening to the whole conversation stopped laughing.

The customer was politely to get the PC plugged in and connected to the internet before calling us back. He called back two days later and everything was fine.

I really don't think they needed to write a letter of complaint saying how unhelpful we'd been. I think that went home with the manager to be framed.

Length? Are we still doing that gag?
( Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Sat 5 Sep 2009, 18:17, 1 reply)

I get this all the time
Surprisingly even from people who I'd assumed had more than 10 brain cells -- they glance at my screen while I'm doing some remote desktop work, and say "but does your home computer have to be on for that to work?"
( ejlflop errrrrgs. Regularly., Tue 8 Sep 2009, 0:11, closed)