Fucking with zee workforce
Customer: “Gut-en-taag, you sell zee bespoke indemnity insurance, yes? I vud like a quote for zee cover, pleeze.”

Dave: “No problem, Sir. What are you looking to insure?”

Customer: “Aie am making zee documen-tarry feelm.”

Dave: “OK, I think we can sort that out for you. I’ll need to take some details first and will have to run it past an underwriter. Can I take your name, please, Sir?”

Customer: “Hitler.”

Dave: “...........”

Customer: “Clarence Hitler – no relation. I get zat all zee time. Ho! Ho!”

Dave: “And what’s the documentary about, Sir?” (Best professional voice)

Customer: “It is zee science. I am attempting to breed zee gorilla with zee homo sapien.”

Dave: “......................... I’m sorry, could you repeat that, please?”

Customer: “I have found zee lady named Sarah Shields, she is letting me film her az she makes the love with zee gorilla. It is dangerous, but she iz very willing. And zee camera crew have zee extream close up lenz for zee shot of zee money.”

Dave: “Sarah Shields? What....? Who is this?”

- CLICK!!! -

I knew Dave was by himself in the call centre and would answer the call because I’d left him there on his sweeny about half an hour earlier when my shift finished. I always enjoyed messing with his head on account of him being far too handsome and witty for his own good. And his girlfriend, Sarah Shields, was a real hotty, the lucky, jammy bastard.

As I turned away from the payphone in the boozer next to work I noticed a bloke stood behind me waiting to use the phone. He was looking a little aghast.

“Don’t worry, mate – I’m not really German.” I said.
( SpankyHanky, Mon 7 Sep 2009, 10:09, 4 replies)

You must've
been a barrel of laughs to work for, mate. Or you drove a few people to a mental institution. Top job and lol work.
(Lizard King, Mon 7 Sep 2009, 14:33, closed)

Hitler & beastiality?
gets my click :-)
(Sweetie, Mon 7 Sep 2009, 14:34, closed)

Hitlet & bestiality...
And you end up with Spanky!

*click*
( snee held his breath since, Mon 7 Sep 2009, 15:07, closed)

Just searched Facebook for Sarah Shields
Couple on there who I'd agree with you on, but one or two butterfaces as well.
( eXOBeX, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 0:47, closed)