While helping out on the insurance claims hotline...
Fuckwit: "So let me get this straight, my TV IS covered against accidental damage?"

Yours truly: "Yes, Mr Fuckwit - your policy clearly states blah blah blah - insert mind-numbing boring insurance-related twatty bollocks here - blah blah blah."

Fuckwit: "My TV's broken, it won't switch on. I've had it for years n years." (Sounding incredibly chuffed with himself).

Yours truly: "I have to remind you you're covered for accidental damage, not if the TV just wears out..."

Fuckwit: "Hang on -"

SOUND OF MY HERO PLACING THE TELEPHONE DOWN, SOUND OF MY HERO THUDDING ACROSS THE ROOM...

CCCCC-RRRRRR-AAAAAA-SSSSSSS-HHHHHHHH !!! SMACK !!! SMACK !!! SMACK !!! CCCCC-RRRRRRRRR-AAAAAAA-SSSSSSSS-HHHHHHH !!!

SOUND OF MY HERO RETURNING TO THE PHONE

Fuckwit: "Oh, did I tell you the screen's broken?"

Yours truly: "Errr... no... Erm... You didn't..."
( SpankyHanky, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 9:24, 1 reply)

Similar, but other direction
I had the joy of phoning up the DVLA one time after losing the paper bit of my driving licence.

*beep beep beepbeep beep beep beepbeepbeep beep beep*
*brrr brrr*
"Thank you for calling the DVLA, press 1 for...etc..."
*beep*
*Muzak* (possibly, or maybe just a repeaded "Your call is important to us - I don't remember)

Welsh bloke: "Hello, thank you for calling the DVLA, how can I help?"
Me: "I've lost the paper bit of my licence"
Bloke: "Okay sir, do you have the plastic card?"
Me: "Well, yes..."
Bloke: "I'm afraid you'll need to send us you plastic card and we'll send you out new copies of each."
Me: "Erm, actually, I think I've lost my card as well..."
Bloke: "But you just told me you had it..."
Me: "So I did, bye!"

*beep beep beepbeep beep beep beepbeepbeep beep beep*
*brrr brrr*
*Press 1, muzak, etc*

Welsh lass: "Thank you for calling the DVLA, how may I help?"
Me: "I've lost both bits of my licence"
Lass: "No problem, sir, can I take your details and we'll send you out new copies..."

To be honest, this story more emphasizes my laziness rather than any comment on call-centre workers...
(suxamethonium, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 10:37, closed)