Drink Driving

A bloke who used to drink in my village, John, popped into the pub at 6pm for a swift one. Midnight, he was still there when I left to get some sleep.

Next morning, I open the door ready to walk up the hill to the train station and I see him about 20 meters down the road, lying on his stomach with his right hand down a drain and his left hand flailing around like a spastic.

I didn't even bother to go and ask what he was doing, I had a train to catch, and I'd seen a lot stranger behaviour in the village.

Work passes and the train drops me at the station so I head to my local for a couple of swift ones. As luck would have it, John was already in the bar so I asked him:

"What the fuck were you doing with your hand down a drain at 7 in the morning"

"Looking for my fucking car keys" he snarled and, bit by bit, the story came out.

He'd gotten drunk. Waaaaay to drunk to drive home and he decided to kip in his car and drive home in the morning. Now he knew that if the coppers pulled him in the night, in his car, and he still had the keys, then they could do him for drink driving. (BTW -I have no idea if this point of law is true or not but he believed it ) So he had a brainwave. Chuck the keys down the drain and retrieve them in the morning!

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:53, 3 replies)

It is true
My mate decided to sleep in his car when pissed and ended up in court - the policeman who nicked him even politely pointed out that if he'd thrown the keys in a bush before opening the door it wouldn't have been a problem.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 16:21, closed)

Tis true,
But it qualifies as 'drunk and in charge of a motor vehicle' which is still a ban-carrying offense.

Still, kudos to your man there, although I bet he felt a right plum in the morning!
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 16:56, closed)

My mate
got a six month ban for sleeping in his car when pissed, should have driven home...
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 7:29, closed)