A few years ago
My mate had a Citroen XM and had fitted a leather interior in it. He couldn't get the door cards for it to match until he saw another XM, a diesel, on eBay which also had a leather interior.

I was without a car at the time so we agreed that if he bought the car for £250, swap the doorcards for his black fabric ones I could buy the car off him for £150. You get a lot of car for your money with the Citroen XM nowadays and for £150 it was a real bargain. The other part of the deal was that I do an airport run so he could collec his Slovakian girlfriend from Stansted Airport. So even being £100 down, plus the cost of the fuel, he was still quids in compared to going on train.

I paid up and took receipt of the car. That was when I noticed the problems. It was an automatic and wouldn't drive off in 'drive', you had to start it in gear 1 and then change to 'D'. The gear shifter was stiff also.

Then the hydromatic suspension was a bit ropey. It would suddenly drop at the front with no warning. I changed the spheres (old Citroens didn't have regular suspension with springs and shockers), it sorted it but it was still a bit temperamental.

Then it developed an electrical fault which caused it to drain the battery on standing so unless I wanted to have to jumpstart it every time, I had to pop the bonnet and disconnect the battery.

I approached him about these issues but he said that I should put them right myself and that I'd still have a bargain, which was true I guess, I just wished he wasn't so smug about it. But I have no skill with cars whatsoever.

But I really liked the car, as did Mrs SLVA. It looked like the batmobile and because the pump that controlled the power steering, the brakes and the suspension was old, it made a wheezing ticking noise, so we christened the car Chitty Chitty Asthma.

I began to get disillusioned with it though, it was spending weeks at a time in a lockup whilst I tried to figure out how to put things right. I wanted a car but I ended up with a project.

After a few months, I thought 'fuck it'. I was going to cut my losses and scrap the bastard. I looked on eBay and noticed that there's a demand for parts. The car has quite a following it seems.

I began to strip it apart and eBayed the parts. The interior, all of the dashboard components, switches, headlamp units, read light units, gear lever, sunroof motor... I gutted the thing. The alloys with the nearly new Michelins on them went for a fair penny. As did the window regulators (the motor, wires and rods that control the electric windows) - they were fought over hard as they are rare and desirable.

Finally, I phoned up some guy called Rob in the local paper who buys cars for scrap. He showed up, winched it onto the back of a trailer and gave me £120 for it.

All in all, I'd made almost £200 clear profit. When I told my mate he wasn't best part pleased.
"If I knew you were just going to break it for parts, I'd have kept it. It's a shame to scrap it." he moaned.
Bollocks, I thought, he was just pissed off because I turned a profit instead of him.

Nice car, I'd get another if I could find one that had been well looked after.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 15:25, 7 replies)

They are excellent cars.
You want to get yourself a Series 1 XM V6-24, which is the 3-litre 24-valve version. It will do its book top speed, which is over twice the legal speed limit. It will accelerate far, far faster than any little chav-chariot who tries to race (and they will try). It will make the owner of a brand-new Porsche 911 cry tears of frustration as the crappy old J-reg Citroen just isn't getting further behind, no matter how hard they push their souped-up Beetle.

Best of all, if you get a grey one and you spot someone in an Audi A8, you can re-enact the chase scene from Ronin.
(gordonjcp, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 15:45, closed)

that was the one he had.
It was joy to drive. I've got a Mk 1 Laguna, and even though it has 165k on the clock, it still sweet as (unlike the Mk2 Laguna). On the M62 once, I was tootling along at 75mph overtaking a van when someone in a BMW came barralling up behind me flashing, so I pulled back over to let him past. As he went past he gave me the finger so I thought I'd go after him. I kept with him at about 125mph for a good 10 mins but got bored and backed off.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 16:07, closed)

Keep your Mk I Laguna
Mine was great. Eventually scrapped at 195k miles. My Mk II died last year. It was shit from day 1.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 16:55, closed)

Yes !
My old man had one of the XM V6-24 as a company car (one of only 28 in the UK that year so exclusive too), Midnight Blue, black leather interior, fast as eff and when you got it revving as 24valves are wont to do the noise was amazing. I remember the day he said 'I've added you to my insurance, tell you what son why don't you take the car to meet your mates, oh, and don't crash it, I can get another son but not another one of those cars'. I love you dad.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 17:21, closed)

I'm on my fourth Citroen now.
I love the hydromatic suspension and think it gives them the feel of a much more expensive car. My Dad had an XM and they were indeed ace, though they shape seemed to date very quickly.
My personal favourite was my first (1985)BX which had the single wiper, a "rolling barrel" speedometer and instead of an indicator stalk, it had a rocker switch on the top corner of the instrument panel that you had to cancel manually. It's shame that some of the quirks were dropped in the move to make them more "mass market".
(Cave Duck, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 17:09, closed)

First and only Citroen
was an 81 GS Special (special as it sometimes means- very, um, basic). Had the rocker indicators and barrel speedo, lovely suspension. Like a much earlier BX, which is probably why bits broke and it packed up more than the BX. Which is quite a feat
(groover j lazerus, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 0:00, closed)

My father had one of these
With the rocker-switches and the strange concave rear windscreen.

It looked like a spaceship and rode like a jelly. Although I thought his was a CX, so maybe a number of them had these quirks. Lovely car in any case.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 18:15, closed)