Cars
First car I drove was a blue Austin Metro. My parents took me to my uncle's farm and told me to drive round the yard in it to get used to it. A goose stepped in front of me, I hit the accelerator in surprise and rammed the car into a walnut tree. The car issued a wisp of steam and expired.

Second car was a yellow mini cooper. A few days after passing my driving test I gave a lift to some girls from school. In a car park I got in a race with another car to see who could do a 3 point turn the quickest. In my haste I reversed into a garage. I got out to inspect the damage: the bumper looked a bit squashed so I tried to pull it back into shape and it came off in my hand.

Next car was a white Mini Metro. This decided to give up the ghost while visiting the most westerly point in Europe (in Norway, if you're interested). I ended up being bump started all the way from there back to Bergen, onto the ferry, and again off the ferry back home. Later it got in the way of a farm trailer carrying manure. Lucky the sun roof wasn't open.

Next came a little blue Renault something-or-other. That one literally collapsed after a long drive to Scotland and back. I woke to find the car with the wheels splayed outwards and oil dribbling onto the floor.

Then I had a black Renault 19. Great car. Engine blew up on the M56 one tuesday morning. Every drop of water in the engine either fell on the floor or evaporated in the space of one second. How exciting!

So I bought a Renault Clio (I like Renault). One day a horse jumped on the car and managed to mangle the bonnet and the roof.

Next was a Renault Laguna. I unwisely drove this at speed into a narrow space between concrete bollards. Too narrow. Cue the car being stuck between bollards, and I had to climb out through the back seat.

Cars, you have to love them.
(Smale is stuffed, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 20:34, 5 replies)

I simply refuse to believe
That the most westerly point in Europe is in Norway. Do you mean the northernmost?

Or that any insurance company will touch you. Do they?
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 21:05, closed)

well
Wikipedia says Portugal has the westernmost point of mainland europe, but when I was in Norway they were convinced they had it. Must be continental drift. And I moved country to confuse insurers.
(Smale is stuffed, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 21:39, closed)

Easternmost is a possibility

( evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 11:01, closed)

I've had a bunch of Renaults..
It seems to have gone 'good one, bad one, good one, bad one etc.

I had a 15 (ok), 17 (shite), 21 Turbo (Ace), 21 (shite), Safrane (Fucking suberb), 9 (Total Shite), another Safrane (total shite) and finally Esther, a Laguna that I managed to write off about 15 minutes after I bought it. NO MORE!!!
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 22:08, closed)

My cars
Was gonna post this as an answer but its not that exciting.

1. Old Austin Metro - First car having passed my test. Had to get on hands and knees and pray to the gods of Metros that they would allow my car to start. This also usually involved sacrificing a lamb. But when she ran, she ran well :) I didn't crash it. Amusingly it got nicked!

2. Fiat Punto 1.7TD - Splashed out a bit on something I was promised was more reliable by a certain large car supermarket. And the promise of if anything goes wrong then drop it back in no problems. Stuff did go wrong and they were rubbish about it. Car finally finished off when the oil managed to fall out of the engine, it ceased. Got it repaired but it was sounding more like a tractor than a normal diesel. Didnt crash it. Traded it in for a:

3. Brand Spanking New Seat Ibiza 1.9 TDI FR. Which i then had breaks upgraded on it, chipped to go faster. + a few other mods kicking out 150BHP. Beautiful car, never a problem with it. Except.. Crashed it... twice. Second time was a write off. (Both crashes were at slow speeds too!)

4. Another Seat Ibiza 1.9Tdi Lower model though and second hand. Damned depreciation with insurance meant i could replace for like for like. But never mind. Not crashed it.. yet :)
(Miggyman, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 9:53, closed)