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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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If you want to be an arse, be careful..
A long time ago, I lived in a small cul-de-sac and would often park my little white fiesta ‘Spitfire Lily’ at the very end of the street. It was a sunny friendly kind of place, and any parking issues were always resolved with kind words and understanding, most of the time.
One fine day I left the house to pick up my little boy from school. I came out of the house and I saw that a bin lorry was parked behind me. I walked towards the car, looking at him, smiling all friendly like, and gestured that I was getting in and needed to leave.

Bin man lorry driver shrugged his shoulders at me and looked away.

I then shouted cheerfully ‘I need to get out if that’s ok?’
He then raised half naked farmers tan arm, and in his grasp was a packet of mostly eaten sandwiches.
Being the nice girl that I used to be, I waved cheerily and popped back inside the house, I had five minutes and who was I to hurry a working man on his late lunch break?

I came back out and waved and pointed to the car again.

He leaned out of his window and like a friendly working class chappie shouted ‘I’m eating my fucking lunch, can’t you fucking hang on like 5 fucking minutes?’
Well, I thought. That’s a bit rude.
I approached the van and said ‘No I can’t actually I have to pick my son up from school so can you move?’
‘For fucks sake, what a bitch’ he uttered under his breath as he threw what was left of his spam sandwich on the floor, started the engine, throwing me the finger as he started to reverse.

Later that evening I called the dear old mother, who then relayed the message to my dad.
Who at the time was a local councillor. Yes, in my area.

To cut a long story short, a few days later the poor bastard was forced to come round to my house and apologise.
Not only that, I got his life story, tragic childhood, wife, kids the lot, and he ended up on his knees in front of me, crying like a hurt monkey, asking me not to get him fired.

I have never been so embarrassed.
And yes. He kept his job.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 22:14, 23 replies)
Wow! Then what happened?
Did you get to drive the truck and do a wheelie and jump over some cars?
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 22:17, closed)
Nah. She told him to fuck off.........
and nailed him with The Honda Accord of Justice.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 22:52, closed)
I wish
I had included that in order not to sue. Sadly I forgot.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 23:57, closed)
The White Fiesta of Upper-Middle Class Outrage At Bloody Proles And Their Dirty, Smelly Oik Life Choices.

(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 8:44, closed)
of the 'upper-middle' please. Just 'upper' will do. Jolly good.
(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 9:42, closed)
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 22:19, closed)
Oh, beautiful
although one'd expect a similar outcome if one'd complained as an ordinary member of the public and not a councillor's offspring!
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 22:38, closed)
It's a terrible world in which only offspring of local dignitaries are able to needlessly abuse low-paid members of council because little Jacob's legs hurt him so very,very much if he doesn't get home in time for his choccy biccy, cake and crisps.

(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 7:43, closed)
you have a double-barrelled family name?
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 23:42, closed)
I am
a Baroness. So of course. Although as my dad is a staunch labour supporter I changed it by myself.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 23:59, closed)
You're not a baroness
you're a cunt.
(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 7:51, closed)
Now, now.
That's a hasty conclusion to be drawing.
(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 8:06, closed)
You're right. I was too hasty and have now had time to reflect on my knee-jerk reaction.
She's a cunt.
(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 8:15, closed)

(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 7:30, closed)
Did you cum when this proletarian begged you?
(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 8:36, closed)
Did have time.
Had to drive to the gym half a mile away so she could have a go on the treadmill.
(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 8:41, closed)
Should have sent the 'help' to the gym, really.

(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 8:46, closed)
I would have
but they were busy cleaning my chinmey and cleaning out my pool.
(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 9:41, closed)

(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 9:08, closed)
This just doesn't ring true
...a Fiesta?

Unless it was a Rav4 or Feeloader dressed in Ford clothing.
(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 10:11, closed)

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