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This is a question Caught!

MJPerry asks: Masturbating, stealing, making the cat dance... when did someone catch you doing something you wanted to remain secret?

(, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:01)
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I wouldn't say I was 'caught' exactly. I brought it on myself. But it's the only time I've been punished for doing something wrong, so here you are.
My father is an appallingly strict man. He is always right, about everything, and as far as he's concerned his word is law. If you faintly disagree with anything he says, he will beat the shit out of you or worse. If you actually do something wrong, he is the most terrifying man you can imagine. Of course, like all bastards he claims it’s for our own good, that he loves and cares about his family.

I was kicked out the house years ago, in the biggest argument we’ve ever had. This was a massive blow, knocked me down lower than most people ever go, and while I've managed (and it's been a fucking struggle let me tell you) to achieve some degree of independence, found a job and my own place to live and so forth - far, far away from the rest of the family, I might add - I'm still scared shitless of the day when he finally tracks me down and takes it out on me. I don’t think he even knows how to forgive.
I don't know what the fuck happened to make him such a violent, abusive bastard. He never talks about himself, about how he was raised, where he came from or how he ended up like that. I don't care anymore. I'm just glad to be out. So what did I do to piss him off so badly?

Although we had a large family, my brothers and sisters and I never knew our mother. It was just us and Dad. I’m sure you can imagine what our home life was like with a man like that. As the oldest, he looked more kindly on me than most. I was his favourite son. Unfortunately, all this really boiled down to was that instead of getting the punishments myself, I had to help him deal them out to the others. Not fun, but I was only a kid and he was my father. What could I do?

I was about 17 when he told us that he was starting a new family, that he’d already got two children on the way, and that he had decided these brats, unlike us, would be given the chance to live their own lives.
Did we get the same privilege? Did we hell. Just the new kids. We still had to do whatever we were told to do.
When he hinted heavily that our duties were also going to include looking after his latest spawn, I snapped like I would never have believed possible. I refused to accept this from him, I told him to go fuck himself. And after he’d picked me up from the floor, and physically flung me out the door, he told me I was never coming back.
Since then, I’ve moved, like I say, as far away from him as I can get – leaving the country isn’t an option though, so I’ve ended up in the south. He lives way up in the north, though I’m fairly sure he’s not Scottish himself. A couple of my siblings have followed in my footsteps, and I’ve been there to take them in and look after them – it’s the least I can do, even though I wouldn’t say we’re properly free of him. Apparently his new family had no more luck than we did in the years since I’ve seen him. The two kids were caught stealing food one day, and by all accounts he flung these children clean over the garden fence, then barred the door. It's not the most violent thing he's ever done, believe me. There are also rumours of him fucking someone else's wife and fathering yet another son, but I can’t imagine he’ll treat this kid any better than the rest of us.

I apologise if this all seems a little impersonally written; I’m doing it deliberately. I can’t help but try and distance myself from all this, because it’s just so painful. The thing is, no matter how badly he’s treated me, even though I’m convinced I’m in the right, I can’t help but admire and look up to him, and that conflict just creates such a mess in my head. You must know this feeling, even if you don’t have it as bad as I do. It’s the way I was raised, and it’s family, and there’s not much you can do about the way you feel about family. I love my father. I just wish he loved me back like he says he does.
(, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 13:56, 7 replies)
By the way
on the off-chance I've actually managed to make anyone believe this... don't bother offering sympathy for the devil.
(, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:01, closed)
I was trying to figure out whether it was real or not
the two new kids over the garden fence bit and the stealing of food gave me a hint as to what you were getting at. wasn't sure till I read your reply though.

nice work
(, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:32, closed)
That's very cleaver that is! +1 click.
(, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:07, closed)
Nicely Done
Now if I can just get my Andy Hamilton impression down pat I will reread
(, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:07, closed)
I thought something was up, but took me a while to figure out which "children" you were talking about.

V. clever!
(, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 15:48, closed)
Thank you all for stroking my ego. I have other things that need stroking if you want...

I was going to do it from Adamaneve's point of view, but then I decided that Satan was so much infinitely cooler than those two.
(, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:15, closed)
Masterfully done...
....I went all the way through sympathy believing it was real, through annoyance you'd made it up, and then a dose of confusion as I wondered why you'd concoct this story. Admiration accompanied the noise of the penny dropping.

Very well done. I don't normally go for that sort of post but that was a masterclass.
(, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 21:59, closed)

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