Vietnamese pandas
When I was backpacking in Vietnam in 2002, I decided to try and help out a friend who is even lower than me on the being-good-at-talking-to-girls-in-that-kind-of-way scale. In a bar in Hoi An he wistfully commented that the four Australian girls sitting round a table in the corner all looked really nice, but that he'd never have the balls to actually speak to any of them in a million years.

"Wait here", I replied, and strode over to their table. Now I have no problem with talking to anybody if the situation doesn't involve potential rejection, so by the time I'd reached them I'd come up with what I thought was a witty ice-breaker. "Excuse me", I started, "can I just ask you a quick question? Have you seen any pandas in Vietnam at all?". As they all replied No, with slightly puzzled expressions, I turned round to my friend at the bar (who after two weeks of hot sun and wraparound sunglasses had a distinctly two-tone face), ready to beckon him over to be introduced. All I saw was one of the saloon doors at the entrance flapping like mad. Suddenly conscious of my new status as the least confident person in the bar, I turned red, stammered something stupid and fled after him. I still wonder what they must have thought.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:00, 1 reply)

after you asked them if they had seen any panda's
I thought you were going to punch one of them in both her eyes.
You probably would have got a fuck through pure fear alone
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:11, closed)