Right, I'm going to rant...
I build and fix bicycles for a living. I like it. I like riding bikes, I like knowing how they work and I like helping people ride bikes. I'm not a self-righteous eco-warrior, but someone's got to know how to fix bikes and what's best to replace the bits with and I'm happy for that to be me.

So if you go to Toys'R'Us, Woolworths, Halfords (usually), Argos, ads in the Daily Mail or (God forbid) the sodding internet and pay a two-digit sum for something with two wheels and maybe even "full suspension", do not expect it to work like a bike, much less the sort of bike you see on the World Cup circuit, Tour de France or even the ones you see fluoro-yellow-clad commuters trundling about on in all weathers.

There's a reason they're known in the trade as BSOs: that stands for bicycle shaped objects - they may look like bicycles from a distance, but try riding one of these and you'll rapidly understand why they just don't count.

If you don't know anything about the componentry (and there is _no_ shame in that), can't recognise brakes and gears that appear to be made out of cheese, don't appreciate that bolts that hold critical parts of the bike together are supposed to be made out of something other than silly putty, then at least look at the welds, and try picking the flippin' thing up!

The old saying "strong, light, cheap: pick two" is generalised but a good standby.


I recently had an argument with a friend of mine who needed a new pickup for his electric guitar. It was going to cost around £140. I laughed and said the obvious "you could buy a new guitar for that" at which point he explained in great deal about acoustics, resonance, circuitry, impedance and suchlike; in short, why you would need a proper pickup and how it would work and sound different from an Argos guitar.

Three minutes later (I kid you not) he was telling me his rear mountain bike wheel was buckled; I explained the options between fixing and replacing it and how much a basic pair of mountain bike-worthy wheels would cost (around £70). Without even hinting at backing down, he spent a good while arguing with me that there was no point paying that much when you could pick up his'n'hers mountain-style bikes with full suspension direct from China through an ad in the back pages of his local paper for less than that. I argued that for around £200 you could get a bike you could reasonably expect to commute on every weekday for a year but he simply couldn't see the point when "you just don't need to pay that much money, it's all snobbery."

There really is a lot more bile backed up here, I'm just not eloquent enough to vent it.

Please, please don't spend as little as possible on a BSO and then expect it to work like a proper bike.


That is all.
( sanityclause is waiting until, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 21:27, 14 replies)

I bought a bike second hand from ebay once
Trouble was... the peddle fell off, which then dumped me in the middle of the road. In the rain. At night. Still, the wheels came in handy for putting on a bike frame I had knocking round, so it wasn't all bad.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 4 Jan 2008, 21:33, closed)

Halfords..oh dear
Too true mate..my son has had 2 xmas pressies from these shitmongers,never again....Stick with my local bikeshop from now (it,s where we went to fix the halfords shite anyway,as halfords was about 8 miles away)...
(andycrass loves two hats on, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 21:37, closed)

BSOs
I got one from my local sports store for 100 euros (bout 70 quid).

Runs like the wind.

Oh, and Halford blows
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 21:49, closed)

halfords
LOL, i used to work for halfords.
At the time we did actually sell some ok bikes by some reasonable makers. Kona, GT etc and some of the own brand Carrera stuff was reasonable too. This was always in the £300 and over sort of price range so was rarely sold. People with £400 to spend on a bike dont buy it from hafords.
Anyway, every year in the run up to xmas we would sell hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of toss-quality dross bikes.
January was almost as busy, repairing kids xmas presents that had fallen to bits within a few miles of use. Worn out and snapped components, even snapped and cracked frames.

I genuinely wonder where all these bikes go. Hundreds would be sold from each branch every year, yet its a very rare occurance to see one in use. There must be thousands of pounds worth of low-quality chinese steel, shaped like a Halfords cycle languishing in garden sheds around the country.
(dave likes cheese, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 21:58, closed)

not all halfords bikes are shit believe it or not
I have one that cost around £1k at the time. I've had it since I was 21 and it's been very good, has a rear swinging arm with fully adjustable suspension, adjustable front sr suntour suspension too. Shimano deore gears, and magura julie hydrolic disc brakes on the front and back. It has a Truvativ crank also. It's pretty damn light too, easy to carry. It's called a hellcat.

Obviously not top of the range these days but certainly not shit.
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 23:22, closed)

I heartily agree...
I have clocked up a good many more miles then the average joe. I spent 2 years in London as a cycle courier (and have many stories to tell all for the low low price of 3 pints) and during this time went through 4 wheels (I'm a big lad and ride hard) and 2 full drive trains. after all of this I still love watching peoples faces when I explain that I wouldn't consider spending less then £1500 on something that "boings on both ends" when they point out their "cracking deal" of a £150 POS



Oh and my favourite line working in a bike shop...
Tell the customer that the bit of kit you fixed by putting in a vice and hitting till it was the right shape again was "Cold Forged"
It sounds super sexy and they go away happy whilst you sound like some technical genius.
(The Magenta Ninja am behind you stealings yor magenterses, Sat 5 Jan 2008, 0:17, closed)

What's wrong with just strong and cheap?
I got a second hand bike for about thirty quid - easily lasted me 3 years of daily use and I'm sure it's still going now with the bloke I gave it to.

There is a difference between guitars and bikes. I didn't need my bike to do anything more than get me from A to B. It worked perfectly well like a bike for me and £70 wheels would have been overkill.
(turkeyphant, Sat 5 Jan 2008, 0:48, closed)

Bicycle repair man!
Watch him bend handlebars with his bare hands!
(kyz, Sat 5 Jan 2008, 11:25, closed)

I'm not saying all Halfords bikes are shit...
...far from it. Firkinfedup, if you paid about a grand for it then it's unlikely to fall into the BSO category.

Magenta Ninja, I only spent six months as a London cycle courier but I can empathise on how hard it is on drivetrains and suchlike, there's a reason most of them ride fixed wheel.

Turkeyphant, you paid not very much money for a second hand bike. If you'd paid £30 for a BSO I can guarantee it wouldn't have lasted 3 years of daily use.

...and if your bike shop tells you something was "cold worked", yes it does mean that a certain amount of brute force was involved. ;)
( sanityclause is waiting until, Sat 5 Jan 2008, 12:18, closed)

Prefer old bikes
As in cast iron frame, 3 speed hub gears. Slow, but keep going. And going. And going. Used to commute to work on an old Pashley for about 2 month, no problems.
( Greenbat, Sat 5 Jan 2008, 12:55, closed)

Agreed
The ex-Mr Chickenlady bought me a bike for Christmas the other year - I had been searching online for details of the ideal mountain bike for me - something light but strong that I could use on a regular (but not daily) basis around the countryside where I live.

I had told him what I wanted.

He bought me an Apollo from Halfords.

I rode it the other day (first time in ages) I nearly died after just one mile uphill.

Then a few days later I went on a 20 mile ride on a borrowed decent mountain bike - no palpitations or threatened vomiting AND the bike frame was light, brakes were fantastic and all in all it was a cracking ride.

I would never buy a bike from Halfords again.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 0:00, closed)

Absolutely
It's very true. If you're looking for something to sit in the shed and gather dust then a Halfords special is perfect for the job.

If you want to ride it for any length of time then you'd be better off spending £200 minimum and forget all about suspension. The suspension you get on your average Apollo is little more than a pogo stick and will exhibit similar properties when you take it off road for the first time.

If you want front suspension then £300 is a good starting point. Brands like Gary Fisher, Specialized, Trek, GT and the like start to feature. Trek and Specialized offer a lifetime warranty on their frames, which are not only designed to tackle proper cycling, but also to fit you properly.

In addition to the ubiquitous Apollo, Halfords also stock their own brand (and half decent) Carrera, not to mention the pedigree stuff like GT and Kona. However, it's all too easy for a flush chav, freshly relieved of his driving license for wrapping his Saxo Shitbox round a lamppost end up buying £2ks worth of Kona Stinky downhill bike because "it looks da fahkkin' tits innit", when he rides it to work and back. Yes, I have seen this happen more than once.

Frankly, he'd be better off buying a spacehopper.

The problem seems to be poorly trained staff. Many times I've been to Halfords looking for something specific and have asked a passing "assistant" who is obviously more preoccupied with spots and the effects of excessive masturbation on his health.

"Excuse me, do you stock Hope brake pads?"

"Meh-meh-meh-meh-next-week-meh-meh?"

"Erm, yeah. Thanks for checking".
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 7 Jan 2008, 10:16, closed)

I'm aggreeing with you 100% on this one
I found this beaut advert about 15 years ago


( Weetobix, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 12:38, closed)

Praise be to God!
I've just had a two month argument about this very principle with my wife.


She is from Paris, and has had a second-hand, cast iron, hub-geared bike for years. V cheap, as v old, but reliable.

My second-hand, bargainous, fancy pants racing bike from far-off lands (Spain) had suffered a bent rear derailleur hanger, and destroyed derailleur. I couldn't procure a hanger for love nor money, not even online. I was looking at replacing my whole bike for want of a £15 part.


I looked at the £300 racers, thought about a £600 Brompton, and fantasised about top-of-the-range carbon fibre efforts.


She said I could spend £100. I nearly died laughing. I tried to explain how shit a hundred quid bike would be, but she was having none of it.


I borrowed a mate's bike to get to the station to commute. It was a £100 heap of junk, and was hell on earth to ride -- but I seriously appreciated it, as it got me there.


I found the part eventually, fixed the derailleur, and I am now as happy as the proverbial pig in shit. My wife got a decent hybrid for Christmas, and hasn't moaned once.

I was SO tempted to buy a fifty quid bike and let her find out the hard way.
(Exiled Youth [witty comment], Mon 7 Jan 2008, 18:54, closed)