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This is a question Cheap Tat

OneEyedMonster remindes us about the crap you can buy in pound shops: "Batteries that lasted about an hour and then died. A screwdriver with a loose handle so I couldn't turn the damn screw, and a tape measure which wasn't at all accurate."

Similarly, my neighbour bought a lawnmower from Argos that was so cheap the wheels didn't go round, it sort of skidded over the grass whilst gently back-combing it.

What's the cheapest, most useless crap you've bought?

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 7:26)
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*insert unsavoury title here*
As a student, I used to live on the Tesco Value range. This went surprisingly well when, for example, I discovered that Tesco Value White bread is exactly the right size to accomodate four Tesco Value fishfingers (a sandwich which has never been bettered, in my opinion).

Being a boy though, I never had much use for one product in their range, thank god. At the end of the aisle one day, my housemate and I spotted the Tesco Value Sanitary Towels.

Christ on a pogo-stick, they were MASSIVE. a pack of six towels was the thickness of a decent-sized school gym crash-mat. If they'd slipped one of these things between the mattresses in The Princess and the Pea, she wouldn't have felt a thing. I doubt they had wings, what with the risk that a sudden gust of wind could transport the wearer into the nearest jet-stream.

Ever since then, I've wondered whether Tesco Value condoms are available. If there's a god, they won't be flavoured.
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 16:42, 9 replies)
When I was a lass...
back in the 80s, our school nurse used to dish out something like this in "emergencies". Teenage girls not being good on forward planning, you see.
Without going into too much gory detail, there was no way of sitting comfortably on those things - they had all the flexibility of a door-jamb!
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 17:21, closed)
Fishfinger Sarnies..
Try fishfingers, red onion, cheese, bacon and chilli sauce. It's the bollocks.
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 18:46, closed)
fishfinger sandwich
yes my friend, they are indeed ambrosia, however they can be 'jazzed up' by simply toasting the bread and being generous with the butter.

at all times this sandwich should be garnished with vinegar and tomato sauce, or sauce of choice. food of kings!!
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 19:22, closed)
I
want one now
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 20:20, closed)
@Monkey the Chicken
that fishfinger combo sounds ace - Im going to get some for old time sake and try that out!

Can I suggest you try a fishfinger sarnie with cheese and brown sauce? mmmmmmm
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 20:49, closed)
Food
and mensturation in the same story ? Huzzah!
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 21:35, closed)
we got some at sainsburys
earlier. fish fingers, not tampons.
i had a butty with brown sauce and spring onion.
i approve,
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 21:44, closed)
Brown Sauce?
Heresy! Real fishfinger sandwiches need chilli sauce and cheese.

And not just any cheese. It has to be that luminous yellow processed 'cheese "food" substance' cheese.

For special occasions, a fried egg may be added.
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 9:18, closed)
MMM fishfinger sandwiches
They are best with toasted bread, cheese and mayonnaise mmmmm
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 16:20, closed)

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