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This is a question Cheap Tat

OneEyedMonster remindes us about the crap you can buy in pound shops: "Batteries that lasted about an hour and then died. A screwdriver with a loose handle so I couldn't turn the damn screw, and a tape measure which wasn't at all accurate."

Similarly, my neighbour bought a lawnmower from Argos that was so cheap the wheels didn't go round, it sort of skidded over the grass whilst gently back-combing it.

What's the cheapest, most useless crap you've bought?

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 7:26)
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This may have bindun...
But I decided to get ink. Well, I was somewhat egged on by the person I was going out with. And off I went to the "artist's" shop. I noted that it seemed to have a somewhat odd odour. Now, at this point I was young and innocent. *Now* I know what weed smells like.

I choose a design. It's a Chinese character that's supposed to say "Father", cos I are one. And on we go. Well, I sat in a somewhat wobbly chair, and the vaguely stable guy comes in. He says he'll just get Bill. Words like "Oh" and "dear" spring to mind. Bill shuffles in, in a state that I'd now recognise as "monged". He proceeds to spark up the tattoo gun and have at my precious left arm. Which I'm quite attached to. It's the only left arm I have! Half an hour later, my arm is dripping blood, most of which is blue.

The other guy charges me £15, and I pay up. I go back to work. When I arrive, the receptionist goes somewhat green. I look down, to note that my shirt is no longer white in the left arm department. Back to Asda for more shirts (yes, more cheapness).

It bled for a week. I went around with clothes I hated on, and wrapped it when I could. Ow.

Eventually, it healed, mostly. Most of the ink was lost, and it sort of looked like a fuzzy grey outline. Ow.

I had it re-done in the end. The new artist looked at it and asked "What cnut did that then?", before redoing it painlessly. It now looks superb.

How's *that* for cheap tat?
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 12:04, 7 replies)
Surely the price could have served as an early indicator of quality?
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 13:28, closed)
I hope you learned your lesson!
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 14:53, closed)
Are you sure it says "Father"
and not "Minger"? Some of these tattoo guys have been known to put inappropriate things on peoples' flesh when the customer didn't know what an ideogram meant...
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 15:29, closed)
Too true...
Always best to verify what Chinese characters mean first before getting yourself scarred for life with something that says 'I fuck goats'.

Much like the beloved did, see: www.b3ta.com/questions/bodymodification/post67188/
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 16:51, closed)
Dear Wogan
Why oh why oh why oh why do people insist on getting bloody chinese/japanese tattoos?

Somebody who went to my college thought he'd had his daughter's name tattooed on his chest, but it actually said that he raped kids. Be careful.
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 17:56, closed)
Thanks for the comments, all
Well now. Just thought I'd pop back and say:

clumsyeloquence: The price would have served... but they told me the price after it was done. The smell of weed would have been a better indicator, to be honest. If only I'd known.

workboresme: Yes, lesson learned. Subsequent inkage has been done by people who knew what they were doing!

The Resident Loon, Davros' Granddad: I nervously asked a Chinese workmate at a place I used to work in to translate. It does say 'Father' - in the sense that it's one of the two characters in the phrase "Father and Mother". Of course, you could check Hanzi Smatter, who specialises in these things.

Thanks all
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 17:56, closed)
Well, as I said...


Back in the 1980s it was fashionable to wear tee shirts with Asian text on them, but even then I refused on the grounds that it might say something like "stupid round-eye, please beat me".
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:13, closed)

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