Jousting with a curtain pole in B&Q
My wife's voice 10 metres behind me "Oh, FFS! How old are you?!"
"Cadzooks, woman! Hush! Merrily I twat thine peasants!"

I mean, B&Q on a Sunday, what else would you do?

Couldn't quite do the clippity-cloppity sound of hooves, too busy poking chavs with a curtain pole.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 15:16, 5 replies)

Choking
I just had to pretend that I was choking this made me laugh so much at work.

I think I know where I'll be going Sunday morning.
(langers, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 15:57, closed)

Do it!
Give it go! It's quite liberating.
People will do one of two things, either look away embarrassed by the balding mong or stare and mutter under their breaths.
At this point take up your war-sword (sorry, metre long rule) and head towards them, "More speed, thine trustie steed! We'll vanquish these damned humpers of whores"
At this point my wife has accelerated towards me (I didn't know she could move THAT fast), shouting "Sorry! Sorry! He hasn't had his insulin!
"? Er, but I'm not..."

One day she's just going to grab me by the ear, I can see it now.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 16:43, closed)

...
That is pure excellence sir!! *clicky click*
(Little Miss Vivica, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 17:54, closed)

*click*
love it :D
(TheHBoxster is probably playing Beatles Rock Band on, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 19:01, closed)

Have a click
for 'Merrily I twat thine peasants!' I must use this in general conversation today.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 12:04, closed)