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This is a question The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Davros' Grandad confesses: On visiting my ex-wife's house, I wiped my bum on the toothbrush belonging to the bloke she ran off with. At least, I thought it was his toothbrush.

(, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 14:36)
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I am the very personification of juvenile
Inexplicably, I find the word/name 'wang' hilarious.

It's been an affliction of mine for a number of years but, of late, has grown worse.
I've gone from sniggering under my breath and having to suppress an inane grin, to (when it caught off-guard) having full-on, drop to my knees, choking for breath laughing attacks where I bray away for a couple of minutes at a time.

'Boobies' tends to elicit a similar, if less-extreme reaction.


To preface what I'm about to say next, where I work is quite near to a high school and at times I end up having to get a train to work which then requires me to navigate my way through/round the massing hordes of, ahem, 'eager young minds' just before school starts.
Furthermore, as I'm not a morning person, I tend to sleep as late as I can, shower and leave for work, choosing to put off such niceties as breakfast until I reach my place of employment, so I quite often end up taking something with me to work to have for breakfast.

My breakfast of choice is Coco Pops.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I semi-regularly board the train to work and march up past hundreds of teenagers with a box of Coco Pops under one arm.
The looks on the faces of the young scrotes* as I wonder past would lead me to believe that I resemble a day release patient from the local home for the clinically bewildered.

But screw 'em - I get to have my Coco Pops and the chocolaty milk that goes hand-in-hand with them.

(* as an aside, myself an my colleagues have been trying to invent a collective noun for 'scrotes' to describe a gathering of 12-15 year olds - so far the best suggestion seems to have been 'an ASBO of scrotes' but any further suggestions would be appreciated)


As far back as I can remember, I have named every muffin I have ever eaten (not a euphemism).
They were all called Frank.

I'm sure there's more of my behaviour that but I can't seem to think of any of it just now.

Mandatory length gag: about a 15 minutes from the station to work, past the school.
(, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 0:16, 9 replies)
How about a "hang" of scrotes?
Not particularly offensive, but it's what scrotes do on street corners and what actual scrotes do when you're nekkid.
(, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 2:57, closed)
Have a click ...
for a well placed Frank Zappa quote. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster rest his happy twisted soul.
(, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 8:07, closed)

A what now?

I managed to quote someone by accident?
(, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 10:45, closed)
Ahh Frank..
Mr Zappa was fond of muffins, and called his musical collective stuff "The Utility Muffin Research Kitchen"
(, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 10:52, closed)
He also named one of his children Diva Muffin.

(, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 18:34, closed)
Apparently the Harry Potter series can be improved
by substituting wang for wand.

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything."

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches."

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, "Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?

Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang...

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
(, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 9:02, closed)
*lingering snigger*
I just laughed like an asthmatic baboon until I fell off my chair and hurt my elbow.

That and I found myself just slightly aroused...
(, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 0:17, closed)
Some suggestions...
A slouch of scrotes
A disaffection of scrotes
A waste of scrotes
A hoody of scrotes
A scrotum of scrotes
(, Tue 22 Sep 2009, 16:41, closed)
I do believe the noun you are looking for might possibly be

A scrote of scrotes

oddly seems to work :-)
(, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 12:04, closed)

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