when i was a trainee, a new girl joined the team
she was weird. proper anorexic with scrawny legs and fly-away hair. you'd see her at lunchtime, wandering around the m&s on fenchurch street, with a tiny tuna salad, staring for hours at the crisps and chocolates. if you said you might try and lose a couple of pounds, she'd turn up that afternoon with a massive toblerone for you. and she would get pissed (never ever buying a round herself) and then demand of the blokes, "WHY HAVEN'T I HAD SEX IN 8 YEARS?"

but she excelled herself at the christmas party. she was sitting next to a male trainee from the manchester office, and he must have mistakenly been nice to her. part-way through the starter - not even at midnight, when nobody would have noticed - she suddenly leapt on him and straddled him, right there at the table in front of 800 people, trying to snog him.

there was a mexican wave of people taking photos and the next day, views of her profile on the intranet hit quadruple figures. horrific.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 12:56, 7 replies)

Alright, who's nicked Swipey's account and used it to post a story about her?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 30 Dec 2014, 13:17, closed)

lol

(McChinaman banned, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 19:38, closed)

I used to work with someone a bit like that
She tried to jump me at a work party once, and I sensibly dodged the bullet and got her talking to my mate instead. Ten minutes later they were asked to leave because they'd tried to have sex in a toilet and he'd fallen and knocked a sink off the wall. They had to be escorted out of the venue dripping with water.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 13:29, closed)

alright

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 13:46, closed)

water fanny batter
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Jan 2015, 15:03, closed)

Bit depressing m8
(immadme, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 14:39, closed)

A trainee?
You mean you had to wear mens clothes?
(username failed moderation, Tue 30 Dec 2014, 15:58, closed)