Cod Almighty.
I went on a fishing holiday on the Cumbrian Coast. A combination of boating and camping. Never again, I swear. After a decent first day's fishing, we left it a bit late to set up camp anywhere, so to save time I started collecting all the camping gear together so that as soon as the boat pulled up to shore, I could start setting up the tent while my friends got on with cleaning and gutting the fish for our dinner. Would have been a great plan too, but as we neared the shore teh wind picked up and the boat started pitching all over the places. I went flying left, then right, then forward and all the metal rods for holding the tent up flew from my arms towards my mate who was holding the fish. God knows how, but I had gone forward with such force that I managed to spear every single fish straight through. Talk about Lurches, Tentpoles and Holey Plaices.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 16:04, 10 replies)

Are you mentally ill?
I can't think of another reason for terrible puns being your primary method of communication.

Still, if Tim Vine can spin a career out of it, maybe you can, too.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 16:08, closed)

I'm not sure who you are confusing me with.
Apart from Tim Vine, obviously.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 16:10, closed)

Oh, I suppose I did do the bell ringer thing too, didn't I.
OK, I concede the point.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 16:11, closed)

I'm just bitter about your Finsbury Park mosque story,
as I wanted to call you a wanker in reply, until I realised that it was implied.

Curse you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 16:19, closed)

Thank fuck somebody got it at least.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 17:11, closed)

I got it too
But I was too busy knocking one out over "dwarves-in-penguin-costumes.com" to reply
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 17:20, closed)

Lies (and dissapointment)
Sorry, the website dwarves-in-penguin-costumes.com cannot be found
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 18:19, closed)

That was like waiting for someone to rip off a plaster.
good work
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 18:57, closed)

I enjoyed this one
*Click* This time it was like waiting for pudding in a restaurant: I saw it being carried in from the kitchen, but it was delicious all the same.
( Scrumper, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 22:57, closed)

It's a good thing there is public assisatnce.
Gives you time to think up such stuff.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 0:00, closed)