Worship me
I appear in many holy places, despite being an atheist. A while ago I got a call from an artist friend, who was doing the illustrations for a prayer book. He needed a model to pose as Jesus, and since I have long hair and a beard, I got the gig. I remember having to adopt an expression of deep piousness, which turned out to be not dissimilar to constipation.

So all over the US Bible Belt, there are copies of a book featuring ME as Jesus. Presumably some folk even pray to it.

Always makes me chuckle, particularly when I'm working hard at breaking as many of their rules as I can manage simultaneously...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 9:36, 21 replies)

I used to get called Jesus a lot when I had long hair and a beard
I didn't mind it until my nan (who had Alzheimer's) actually mistook me for the Lord. That was a bit weird.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 10:25, closed)

POIDH


Hmmm, I feel a caption competition coming on...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 10:29, closed)

It looks like Jesus
took time out from curing lepers and feeding tramps to sculpt his beard into a goatee. Bravo Jesus.
(Bababoon, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 10:33, closed)

I thought Jesus
was a black man?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 10:45, closed)

Jesus was Batman

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 10:50, closed)

Jesus was
a bad man dem say
(Bababoon, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 10:51, closed)

:-D
moon monkey doesn't look like him, either. This story is naught but a pack of lies.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 10:52, closed)

You lack faith, my child
Really is me, y'know.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:21, closed)

I can attest to that
b3ta.com/questions/performance/post1329115
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:26, closed)

Pop on cape'n'cowl,
and I'll accept either of your as my lord and saviour, right now.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:43, closed)

OK: on your knees, then

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:50, closed)

I have no desire to taste the body of Christ,
thank you very much.

Bloody Catholics...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:52, closed)

Arab INNIT.

(Bababoon, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 10:51, closed)

If Jesus was Jewish, how come he has a Mexican name?

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:21, closed)

\ o.O /

(Bababoon, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 12:02, closed)

Are you planning a second coming then?

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:44, closed)

Jesus is back, and this time he works in IT
"Blessed are the DIVs, for they shall inherit the styles."
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:49, closed)

A second?
At my age I can barely muster up the energy for a first most nights.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:50, closed)

Mrs Palm getting tired,
is she?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 12:00, closed)

Try it with nails through your hands
It feels like another deity is doing it
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 12:00, closed)

That would be ace!
Like your own personal Fleshlight, and no need to grab it with RSI-addled fingers.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 12:05, closed)