ever been in a bike club?
any old bunch of sweaty men can start an mcc. that's right - you're only allowed to be an mcc. if you want to be an mc you need approval from the hells angels.

now, don't be fooled by the romantic assumption that the angels are a bunch of outlaws living the dream on the outskirts of society. they make the inland revenue look like the love-in at golden gate park in 1967.

first, you have to state your intentions. local mcc meeting once a month? oh, fine - but if your patch colours are too close to the angels or the outcasts you'll get a visit and a warning. want to elect a president? well, that's a bit close to side-patch politics so think on.

want a rocker? a flat no. rockers are only for angels or outlaw clubs (who have to get permission).

support your local big red machine. my arse*.

*they took very good care of a friend of mine when her husband died of cancer. still twats though, mostly.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 9:27, 15 replies)

What's the difference between an mc and an mcc,
aside from one letter?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 12:28, closed)

mainly that you genuinely need permission from the angels to be an mc.
it enters into side-patch territory and isn't worth the bother.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 12:49, closed)

Also, Motor Cycle Club as opposed to Motorcycle Club.
you couldn't make this shit up, could you?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 12:51, closed)

why not go crazy
and set up an MBC (motor Bike Club) and not have to be part of all the politics of the MC or MCC shenanigans
(bruxia, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 13:10, closed)

in my experience there isn't a way round it.
last mcc i was in was about 15 members in an essex backwater. somehow our patch colours were 'reported' to the local angels chapter as being a bit close to the outcast's colours and we had a visit and a warning.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 13:13, closed)

Ebay
have heard horror stories of clothes traded on Ebay to well meaning noobs and HA bump into them.
(Spin Its a thing., Fri 22 Jun 2012, 20:07, closed)

oh, this.
my favourite (probably apocryphal) story is of an unfortunate mid-life-crisis gentleman who pulled up at some lights next to a couple of angels and gave them the 'oh, yes, we're all motorcyclists yeah?' nod. unfortunately the harley he was riding had been nicked from an angel the month before.

he walked home.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 23 Jun 2012, 6:36, closed)

If I didn't know better
I'd call bullshit on this.
Still, we should be nice to bikers - their organs are so useful.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 14:01, closed)

i was once offered an evening with the president of the london outcasts chapter.
i declined and all hell broke loose.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 14:37, closed)

Was he
the keymaster?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 15:20, closed)

he was a gert big fat fucker.
we went to an all-nighter at their clubhouse in bow. everyone else was speeding and by 3am i needed sleep. he offered to 'escort' me to one of the bedrooms and i don't think i hid my horrified expression very well. it was a Diplomatic Incident.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 16:20, closed)

Ha!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 17:15, closed)

So your story is
you didn't join the Hell's Angels?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 13:25, closed)

i'm not allowed to join the hells angels.
no wimmin, innit?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 13:32, closed)

...
So why can't you join?!?!?!?!?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 13:38, closed)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!1ONE!1ELEVEN!

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 14:36, closed)

I'm thinking of taking that one to Edinburgh.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 14:39, closed)

my brother in law is an ex outlaw
the scar that runs quite a large way around his neck is supposedly from where a hell's angel tried to cut his head off.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 13:27, closed)

"my brother in law is an ex outlaw"
Well ... yes.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 16:03, closed)

pfff

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 23 Jun 2012, 14:15, closed)

I hereby declare myself a Motorcycle Club.
What are those fat old cunts going to do?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 16:57, closed)

Cut your head off, if the above post is to be believed.
Well, you can tell everyone that's what happened, anyway.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 17:57, closed)

This scar on my leg is from when the local allotment club tied me to a cold frame and rotorvated me.
It's my own fault. I grew some broad beans without asking their permission.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 18:54, closed)

In my experience the local MCCs were generally frequented by born again bikers, fat blokes in one piece leathers and fair weather types. Outside there was all manner of shiney jap plastic and BMWs.

We on the other hand were supposed to be a MAG chapter, campaigning for biker's rights against crazy euro legislation. However, most members were lifestyle bikers, had close links to the local outlaws and partied everyone else under the table. A rough selection of rats and half-finished customs outside, we didn't need to get permission to wear a badge or to tell people who we where. Most knew us by reputation.

(Crap, that sounds like a bad movie intro.)
(Bad Monkey hasn't had an abusive gaz since, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 16:57, closed)

You must watch some fucking dull films.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Jun 2012, 17:34, closed)

i think you'll find that you didn't get a visit as you played by the imaginary rules.
plus MAG make the girl guides look like reservoir dogs. fucking MAG, really?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 23 Jun 2012, 6:31, closed)

You weren't there man!
A simpler time, no Police at rallies and no cameras on the good roads. Just plenty of parties and a general lack of dickheads.
(Bad Monkey hasn't had an abusive gaz since, Sat 23 Jun 2012, 16:22, closed)

respeck for putting up an interesting story
instead of just posting a 'you're shit' type of reply on someone else's reply.

More of this kind of thing please.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 22 Jun 2012, 21:31, closed)

oh ambassador, you are spoiling me...

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 23 Jun 2012, 6:29, closed)

You're shit.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 23 Jun 2012, 14:40, closed)

What is a sidepatch exactly?
And why do people feel so strongly about it?
(Big D, Sat 23 Jun 2012, 11:10, closed)

I hate those cunts.
And would have no qualms removing them one by one from society via a light plane and a long drop into the ocean.

Bikie gangs have evolved into something entirely different from the old school fat bearded cunts, here in Australia. Most of them are clean shaven, tatts hidden under shirt sleeves, they pack a posse of high paid lawyers, do shitloads of steroids, are obsessed to the point of homoerotica in their body-builder muscles, peddle smack and meth to school kids, shoot innocent bystanders in their stupid fucking rivalry fights and dismiss it as collateral damage. They profit from writing books about their "outlaw" lifestyle and become minor celebs.

Some fucking idiot has been going around shooting bullets into shops the last few nights as some kind of "warning" to another gang, right in the centre of town. Whats the point? Little man with a big gun.

There are attempts at legislation to disband bikie gangs and I hope it gets legs. Gangs are spending shitloads of dirty money on lawyers to fight it in the High Court. If it was about the bikes, casual drug use and couple of brawls out in the pub carpark, then yeah, go for it you stupid cunts, but it's not.

As Janet says, it's not a noble lifestyle, the only ones I ever vaguely knew were a dodgy bunch of unhinged morally vacant arseholes and I avoided them at all cost. You never knew if you were having a normal conversation or about to get a knife in your face.

I was extremely careful to never, ever owe them even the most minor of a favours. A mate of mine does, and it's a never-ending payback situation with an interest rate any bank would envy.

Anyway, bikes are ancient history for me, but if I ever feel the urge to ride a dinosaur engineered custom harley, I'll borrow Infidel's bear spray.
( Ken Oath, Sat 23 Jun 2012, 15:01, closed)

Frankly, Harleys are a mystery to me,
why the fuck would anyone *want* to ride something so slow, ugly and badly made and that costs more than a car? Vintage bikes excepted.
Businessmen playing the weekend badass in cut offs and leather chaps and skull print scarves? Yep, that's a "lifestyle" dude.
Oh yeah, a sleeveless shirt and no gloves, that's smart bro'.
Heh, as I type this a guy just went past on a gaudy christmas tree of a harley and he was wearing shorts, a wife beater tee shirt and sandals. FFS.
Lucky Canada still has a sort of free healthcare, that's a shit load of skin grafts waiting to happen.
Actually the concept of HA (and its wannabes) here in Canada strikes me as a bit odd anyway, in the best of years you can only ride for 5-6 months, the rest of the time you're in a 4 wheel cage like the rest of us, hardly the live free, ride free philosophy.
As y'say, it's all about attitude and being the bad boy.
13 years on bikes all year round and I rarely came across a patch club member who impressed me as a fellow human.
When you're done with the bear spray hand it back..
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 23 Jun 2012, 16:21, closed)

I agree
I live in a small(ish) city on the north coast of NSW in Oz. There are local chapters of Banditos, Finks, Rebels and Lone Wolves around town. The Wolves are the worst. Their gig is to groom kids, some still in school, to sell their ice (meth). They do this by giving it to them on credit. When inevitably they fuck up and cant pay for the gear they got on tick guess what? Now they owe them. The kids then get forced into other things like robberies and stabbings etc.
Everyone knows who these gang members are, like I said small town, but no one is doing anything about it. The cops make a token bust every now and then but the main guys are still on the street and in my local pub swanning around like cunts.
And the media fucking coats them in gold and romantises it all by making stupid fucking TV shows about them, like you said bringing them into this psuedo celeb status.
(technocore, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 7:30, closed)

What's a 'rocker'?
And I'm afraid the answer to: 'Are you impressed with this post?' is a flat no, a REALLY flat no.

NOb (that's supposed to be 'flat' symbol) could also be YES#.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 16:14, closed)

a rocker is the top and bottom part of an MC's colours.
the top part states the club, the bottom part states the chapter.

it's all bollocks though, so don't worry your pretty little head about it.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 8:59, closed)