Music's "next big thing"
Let me explain.

Every so often, whilst listening to ANY current radio station (they are all a bunch of badgerfuckers, so I shall not single anyone out in particular) will harp on about the next boy/girl/band/goat as being the "next big thing." And every motherfucking time, we fall for it. Oh yes we do. We go out like the bunch of lobotomised spacktards that we are and jizz our money against the wall.

And the worst bit?

They are shit. All of them. They really fucking are.

Arctic Monkies? Ah yes, a bunch of retard scallies from the rough end of t'pit country, or so they claim who sing out of tune in a quasi-Yorkshire accent, but nooo...because they are singing about prostitutes and people being ugly, they are "edgy." (That, by the way, is another word that would be banned under the Carrot Superstate).

Amy Winehouse? I mean really. Come the fuck on here people. She was NEVER any fucking good. She sang like a man and the only reason anyone bought her absolute fucking dross is because she had hair like a beehive and did more smack than a nursery in Nazi Germany. And whilst I'm on the point....

....Pete fucking Docherty in whatever incarnation of shite he is in at the moment. Yes Pete, we get it. You take fucking drugs. Whoop de fucking doo. Have a medal. It still can't make you sing.

And finally, Susan Boyle. Quite frankly I'm furious about this anyway. She's clearly several sperm short of an orgasm, but even so she gets touted around as "having the voice of an aaaaaaaaaaaaangel" OK, the biffer can sing, and she does a reasonable job of it (fuck knows, better than me) but by the sweet clopper of the Blessed Virgin Mary, she's not the best in the world. It's just because she's mental mental chicken oriental and has a face like a bulldog licking piss off a stinging nettle, then she's some kind of fuck ugly musical Goddess.

It boils my fucking piss that some extremely good bands out there have failed to get anywhere in the charts because they don't hit some fucking cunt of an advertising executive's demographic. Oh, and Bill Hicks was right...
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 20:04, 9 replies)

good bands?
like who?
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 20:10, closed)

This
with bells on it
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 20:27, closed)

Yes yes yes except
Amy Winehouse is fucking cool as fuck.
(Super Jet Shoes, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 20:28, closed)

A pity
she's also rough as fuck.
(Connor Lingus is running this monkey farm now, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 23:26, closed)

Very much this...
...especialy for "mental mental chicken oriental"
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 20:51, closed)

I always thought
FMB were the next big thing.
( milkybarnick is calming down Boris on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 21:35, closed)

No...
Kunt and the Gang, or at least Kevin bloody Wilson
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 9:26, closed)

Well commercial radio anyway, world service, 5 live, Radio 7, radio 4 and maybe Radio Scotland in a loop to avoid listening to the unfunny comedy or the undramatic drama or the wall to wall football on many days should work reasonably unannoyingly.
(Benzyl, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:05, closed)

spot on...

*clicks*

and if I could, I'd click again for the 'chicken oriental' line. Brought back a few memories that did!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 17:29, closed)