Morrisons
Mother and daughter, mum in pink track suit, pretend Ug boots, you can picture it, daughter must be 5 or 6 in the seat bit of the shopping trolley, with a dirty face (not washed you pervs). Daughter is attempting to chew her way into the kilo tray of value mince in the trolley.

Mum: "Dinnae" (We're in Edinburgh by the way)
Child: "How?"
Mum: "Just dinnae!"

Okay. First of all. When your child asks "How?" (a delightfully aggressive response used in this part of the world, usually meaning "why" or "what", in fact any other question than "how"), perhaps if you explained a REASON then you wouldn't, as I suspect from the tone of your voice, have to have the same conversation EVERY time you go shopping. So tell the delightful little cherub, that

a) Its not cooked and might make you ill

and b), and this is the clincher

b) ITS NOT F*CKING YOURS YET, BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T PAID FOR IT, YOU THIEVING TINKS!

Unfortunately all too common, I suspect.
( paulieg La, la, la, not listening, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:12, 6 replies)

That 'how' thing has always bugged me
My whole family are scottish, and when they say 'how?' I want to scream at them. It does make a little sense though, as it's not asking 'why?' it's their shorter version of asking, 'how come?'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:14, closed)

The correct response should have been
c) "It's actually 'why' not 'how'" Then she could have explained "why" eating raw meat is a bad idea and "how" it would make her piss shit out of her arsepipe for 3 days
(brainwrong, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:24, closed)

I could tell this was on the east coast
had you been in Glasgow, the conversation would have gone thus:

Maw: Gonnae no'
Wean: How?
Maw: Just gonnae no'.

Apologies to Chewin' the Fat
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:32, closed)

My cousin, when he was five
all he would say was, 'gonnae no dae tha'?' OVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVER

He's quite nice now though, for an Emo.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:35, closed)

apologies?
if there are any apologies being offered, it should be those two waste-of-oxygen bell-ends. A less funny "comedy" show I have not seen. I have only laughed at one line from any of their stuff, and even that wasn't on their program.

/rant
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:53, closed)

TINKS = AWESOME WORD
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:39, closed)