I know, I know…I’m turning into Benny Hill…

For last week’s QotW, I subjected you all to a bash at poetry. Some of you gluttons for punishment lovely B3tans were kind enough to say you enjoyed my efforts and asked for more…

Be careful what you wish for in future!...

Chavesty

Half scouser, Half cockney, Half brummie
Just a 16 year old ‘yummy mummy’
She was ‘one of the lads’
With 3 kids from 9 dads
And 6 more on their way in her tummy

With her love bites (or slag rash) on show
Her fake bling and her fake tan aglow
Her whole life is a farce
But the 'tatt' on her arse
Shows the local boys which way to go

Overweight, overdosed, oversexed
Only speaks in the language of text
With a wink of an eye
She will blow you till dry
& For a Big Mac she’ll whip off her kex.

Thinks she knows ‘everyfink’ about style
From a permanent state of denial
Her ambition and goal
Is to sign on the dole
And a guest spot on Jeremy Kyle

As she waddles she turns the air stale
She’s a slag on a biblical scale
She's got ‘no time’ to wash
She makes muck look quite posh
And she's shaped like a small humpback whale

Things like ‘Innit’, and ‘Wotcha’ are slurred
She treats ‘LOL’ like it’s really a word
Her vocab is obscene
'Like...Ya Know wot I mean?’
And she smells like a freshly dropped turd

But no more for her council flat den,
And the tracksuits, and armies of men
Cos this common young bitch
Is soon going to be rich
She’ll be starring in Big Brother 10!

.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:29, 12 replies)

I can haz iambic pentameter?
...
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:32, closed)

How's that...?

Limerick stylie ftw!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:42, closed)

Like this too....
Nicely put Mr Flake.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:43, closed)

Yup
Massive clickage here!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:45, closed)

*applause*
You're Pam Ayres, come on, admit it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:54, closed)

I don't know what you mean...

...my dearie

;)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:55, closed)

well
something to brighten up a boring Friday.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:57, closed)

Another Triumph, Poof.
8/10.

I don't give nines :)

*clicks*
( Cawl, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:14, closed)

A fine piece of work
I do hope this becomes a regular thing.
(ShitBitch, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:08, closed)

Hope not.
Because if it does, manually clicking just about every 'I Like This!' link with Pooflake's name in front does not improve my productivity at work...
(Obsidian, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:13, closed)

Loving your work dahling!
I'd say your style is more suited to tetrameters or ballads rather than iambic pentameter.

Which of course goes hand in hand with songwriting.

Keep it up!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:37, closed)

Wha?....Er....thanks (I think?)

As for ballads...I've been down that road...It's dangerous!


ask Bernard
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:03, closed)