The wedding
Oh gawd it was bad.The wedding was a circus. It was like planet of the apes meets the royal family. The children were tied to a post to stop them running away. The more cultured among us stood in the corner and discussed sudoku tactics. God blessed the holy union to to loud grunts of what I could only guess was the trogladite equivalent of applause.There was a trough in the one corner where the guests buried their heads. The mêlée round the trough only died down once the food supply was exhausted. The wine flowed and we were eventually able to decipher some of the grunting. It was English of a dialect yet to be identified. Time morphed from minutes to hours and the apes danced. I did the robot. They did the chicken dance. An alcoholic haze descended upon me and I was now fluent in grunt. I talked. I entertained. I swung from tree to trough like the alpha apepig of the room. Connections for discount Elizabeth Duke jewellery were made as was a promise of "as much tennants super as you can drink". I left a happy man, but not before I let one of the apes nosh my banana.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:24, Reply)