Landlord from Hull
My ex and her best friend moved into a house which turned out to have the world's laziest, least helpful and most irritating landlord. His piece de resistance, however, was when I mentioned to him that some of the spindles in the banister along the top landing were missing - causing gaps which the girls' kids could easily fall through, into a drop of three stories.

"How old are the kids?" asked Barry the Landlord.

"Er, three and four," I replied, wondering why that was relevant.

"Well," he concluded smugly, "They'll soon grow and be too big to fit through then, won't they?"

Awesome.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:28, 1 reply)

If that was me
I'd get a couple of lengths of 4 x 2, hammer it in in the ugliest way I possibly could, using 38 6 inch nails - at least 10 of which would go through the banister from the top. I'd paint them turd brown as well.

I'm no lawyer, but I doubt he could actually do anything about it. In fact I'd probably send him a bill for £50 for the work.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:37, closed)