Hell$tra
Name changed to protect the monopoly...

4.5 years since moving out of home I've come back to free meals, free washing, free board and free hugz 'n' kisses [was getting those before from previous live-with GF, but I always ended up paying for it]

"Weeee" says I, with an exclamation of "Cheap internetz!" thrown in for good measure. Shame internetz are all clogged up with crappy ADSL 1 bandwidth ak-she-own-kneh.

I found out...nay I confirmed it was ADSL 1 once I called the tech support.
Them: "Oh you've been on ADSL 1 for well over the term of your contract..."
Me: "So you've been supplying my family with a $70 12GB crap connection for over 2 years!?"
Them: "Yes - we only upgrade the speed when people call"
Me: *FUMING* "So basically you've found out a good way to screw over people who don't realise when they are paying far too much for such a shit service"
Them: "Would you like that speed upgraded sir"
Me: "Hell yes"

So the gist I'm given is, 4 business days 'for us to put the codes on the line' (getting some tech to insert some lines of commands into a cisco router)
Fine I say, I'm not in a rush to download the internet yet (in a rush for some redtube.com though but given the communal nature of my computer...not too keen on risking it)

So 4 school days come and go. Come home. Check internet...slow.

Power cycle networking hardware...slow.

Call up ISP...waiting in queue...slow...get through to phone monkey

Me: *Gives reference number* It is still slow
Them: *Reads notes/watches the end of 24/sips coffee while blankly looking at back of object of affection's head* "Ahhh yes, I see we don't have the order in the system (for the tech to put the codes on the line)"
Me: "What...does that...mean...?"
Them: "It means I'll have to create the order. 4 business days until it takes effect"
Me: *FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU* But I was told this 4 days ago. The order is there. I was on the line while the person did it (It was a chick, and she knows fuck all about how to get some CCNA tech to telnet into a router and copy + paste some code)
Them: "I can understand...I'm going through the same thing"
Me: "BULLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH.........I'm speaking to your supervisor"


I then went on to mention "I needz teh pr0nz now" in addition to "Since I'm out of contract I can sign up with another ISP and get connected with ADSL 2+ at a cheaper contractual rate within 4 days" lots of "Consulting with level 3 technicians took place" and magically "We've just found your order in another area. Your ADSL 2+ should be active in 40 minutes"

And it was.

Always threaten to go to a competitor.
(lemonadegame, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 7:41, 6 replies)

Good tip there.
They HATE you going elsewhere.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 9:13, closed)

In the Name of All that is Unholy
Go elsewhere.

I am convinced Telstra exist only to make BT customer service look good.

DO NOT REWARD THEM BY CONTINUING TO BUY THEIR SERVICES.
(Scooby Don't, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 14:06, closed)

Smart arse
There have been ISPs mentioning 'There is an extended service outage, you may wish to consider churning to another ISP. This won't incur a contract breakage fee' or along those lines.

Obviously if they'd hated to watch you switch, they would make sure there was NO 'extended service outage'

P.S. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit and the highest form of stupidity.
(lemonadegame, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 0:24, closed)

Why didn't you demand a refund on the 2 years of paying for the faster service, but were given the cheaper, slower service?

If you have paid for a service which was never given, you should be entitled to reimbursement?
(Roddimus_Prime Should be revising, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 10:26, closed)

Hmmmmm
You may have something here. They could say they never stipulated that the service was 'ADSL 2+' however. But I'll take a look at the contract bills to see if they have.

If so, trust me - I'm taking them to the cleaners. This is the stuff that makes me rage so hard astronauts see the asplosion from space.
(lemonadegame, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 0:32, closed)

I can't
I don't have any alternatives. There are none in Hull. Either use Karoo, or switch to an 0845 dial-up service.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 10:53, closed)