A girl
I went out with in university went with a friend to the local shop to buy a kitkat. When she ate it she found out it didn't have any biscuit in it. After a/some bottle(s) of wine, she decided to write a letter of complaint to nestle (being drunk she also decorated the letter with a crayon drawing of a sad looking pony covered in glitter).

A week later she got an apologetic letter back with a comment on how nice her drawing was, and with a £35 voucher for chocolate - that they suggested her mother disburse to her - her drunken scrawl and pony drawing evidently making them think she was about 7, not 19.

When I went to see her that night she was sitting on her bed, a greenish tinge to her face, surrounded by chocolate wrappers, rocking back and forth slightly, murmuring over and over again "I can't eat any more".
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:36, 14 replies)

I was literally just searching for complaints to Nestlé to see if any had paid off
as I have a complaint lined up for them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:43, closed)

Ponies
Glitter covered sad looking ponies. They're the way forward.

She once wrote me a love letter with a pony drawing on it. The pony looked slightly like Ian Rush.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:55, closed)

I'm totally going to write the letter with a crayon gripped in my fist

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:01, closed)

And a bottle of wine...
with one of those fancy curly straws in?

I believe that the wine may be integral to the pony drawing process.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:06, closed)

I'll bear that in mind

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:13, closed)

Ha!
Nicely.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:44, closed)

Ate a Kitkat Chunky yesterday
pure chocolate. I cried with joy.
Makes me wonder why Yorkie bars don't have the same effect.
(nuclearmoniker will explode violently on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:50, closed)

kit kat chocolate is more brittle
makes for a more pleasant eating experience
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:01, closed)

This is the dream
Why would anyone complain about it? It's like the even rarer pure-flavouring Pickled Onion Monster Munch. Nearly blew my fucking head off.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:27, closed)

My gran had a similar experience
She found a Club biscuit with no biscuit, all chocolate. Now, I wouldn't have complained about this, since if you want a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, join our Club. That's overdelivery if you ask me.

But anyway, she did complain and got two packets of clubs by return of post, with a total of 3 more solid chocolate Clubs in them.

Luckily, she terminated the correspondence at this point since after a only a few more iterations of tripling, the entire surface of the Earth would have been covered in yummy chocolate-mint biscuits.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 17:07, closed)

MINT? Ugh!
Orange please.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 19:20, closed)

Mint is the One True Club
I declare Jihad on the lovers of the sickly Orange impostor Clubs. To arms!
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 10:33, closed)

Yeah mint are blatantly better than Orange. Orange are too sickly.
(Mr_Lew, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 1:27, closed)

"Now, I wouldn't have complained about this, since if you want a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, join our Club. That's overdelivery if you ask me."

This made me laugh so hard!
(Mr_Lew, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 1:27, closed)