Forgive me mother
My mum was and still is an avid gardener. During my teenagers years I would regularly volunteer to light the heater in her greenhouse. (for the unitiated this is basically an adjustable wick in a pan of paraffin). I did however have an ulterior motive... it meant I could have a cheeky cigarette whilst I did it.

All was going reasonably well as I tugged away on an Embassy No 1 that I'd "borrowed" from my dad. In hindsight I probably should have been paying a little more attention. Leaning down to stub out the cigarette I noticed the unusual orange hue at the far end of the greenhouse. Whilst puffing away and contemplating how dirty Jessica Browne must be in bed I hadn't realised that I had put a little too much paraffin in the heater. By now the entire heater (not just the wick) and the staging (its a posh word for wooden shelves in a greenhouse apparently) were now totally engulfed in flames.

It my panic, I grabbed the large and handily placed jug of water sat on the floor. Deciding the fire was getting out of hand I threw the contents at the inferno that used to be her tomatoes...

and it would have worked perfectly....

had it been water in the jug and not 2 litres of Paraffin.

Surprised doesn't do it justice... I stood there open mouthed, gawping as the cucumbers disappeared into the blaze. Thinking quickly I ran down the garden and grabbed the hose. Eventually I managed to put out Hades greenhouse. Before returning indoors and pretending nothing had happened. So some 15 years later...

Mum, im afraid the paraffin heater didn't raze your greenhouse. I did, so sorry!
(skintagain, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 14:28, 1 reply)

click for
Hades Greenhouse.
made I larf it did.
(f_rev, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 17:35, closed)