More secret revenge
I was a warden in the halls of residence at uni, I didn't like it much but it was free rent for doing nothing most of the time. Until some wee arsehole started playing up and generally ruining the equilibrium.

He was getting right on my nipple ends through various idiotic acts, stupid shit like emptying all the fire extinguishers on a weekly basis. Occasionally fair enough, but every. Week. Even though we all knew it was him I could never prove it and had to take the money out of everyone's deposit; cue moaning. He was also one of these repulsive bullies who systematically victimised the introverted kids using the guise of cameraderie. I could go on and on about his various acts of malice and idiocy...

I decided to take covert action. I took a shit in a carrier bag and stuffed it down between his radiator and bedroom wall when he was in class. You know the heating in halls - perpetually turned to bake. I know this is probably a slightly mental thing to do, worth it though. Even walking past his door would provide a nutty waft of poo. After a few days I checked and the turdbag was undiscovered so I retrieved it.

I told no one, but replied to everything he said to me after that with 'Yeah, well you smell of shit.' Je ne regrette rien.
( bland is bland, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 18:08, 2 replies)

And that...
is the type of justice the ol' Pope should propose!
(Clerk T Hazarde are all the wine, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 18:27, closed)

this qotw
has made me realise just how much of a vigilante I have been with my bodily excretions. There are countless incidents like this. I'm a filthy animal.
( bland is bland, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 22:36, closed)