I'm crap at my job.
I have been working in the same industry for 22 years. I have never really known what I was doing.

I am quite lazy. I spend at least 2 hours a day fucking about on the net. If I don't know how to do something (frequently), I don't do it. I seem to get away with it. I have been on trips, costing thousands of pounds in airfares and hotels, where I have acheived nothing. Sometimes I achieve something on a trip, but when I get back I forget to follow up, and achieve nothing.

I am starting a new job in January. The new company paid £1,800 for me to travel to meet with them for an interview, and offered me the job. At least half of the job they are employing me to do I have no experience of.

I am pretty sure one day I'll get caught out. Untill then, I guess I will ride the gravy train. Wheee!!!
( Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:33, 11 replies)

You are a politician
AICMFP.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:58, closed)

Compared to my general competance
and ability, most politicians look like Bill Gates.

The only thing we have in common is that we are both reasonably good at bullshitting. But even that I'm not actually very good at.

I am good at slipping under the radar. It's the only way I could have survived so long.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:02, closed)

I wouldn't worry about it
I suspect most people don't really know what they're doing most of the time. This is sustained by the fact that most people above those who don't know what they're doing, also don't know what they're doing.

And so on.
( rofl harris, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:01, closed)

"The only human trait we can consistently rely on is incompetence"
Can't remember who said it (and I'm no doubt paraphrasing), but it's true
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:05, closed)

Luckily for me,
I don't often know exactly what I'm doing, but get paid to find out.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:56, closed)

Agreed.
I was the same in a few places I have worked. When I got to my current job, the boss turned out to be quite probably the cleverest bastard I've ever met, and he knew his stuff, well.

Turns out I DID know what I was doing, I was just f***ing lazy up until now.
(dchurch bah, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:50, closed)

I know the feeling...
A few years ago my job consisted of being "on call" to a Californian music company. Every so often I'd get a call, and have to get over there immediately, to sort out some kind of problem with their software. It was often something I knew nothing about, to the extent of reading the language manual on the flight over...

It used to stress me out, until at the end of one trip the Big Boss called me in. I was expecting a bollocking, for blatant winging-it, but instead he told me that I'd achieved more in two weeks than the full-time "expert" had managed in six months...

I reckon most people are winging it, cringing in case they're found out.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:25, closed)

Do you work for me?
There are 1 or 2 people who work for me that fit that description quite well. Sacking people is harder than it sounds these days. Unfortunately.
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:19, closed)

Are you my boss?
and every other fuckwit in the management team spunking money up the wall while stealing my oxygen?


(I'm only bitter about the people above me doing it! On the inside, I'm up there with ya buddy!)
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:24, closed)

It's a very democratic affliction.
I have spent half of my 22 years as a feckless employee, and half of it as a useless director.

Either way, it has always appeared to me that I am making way less contribution than my bosses / employees respectively.

I'm not sure I'm actually disturbed by it. There are some people around me that are genuinely hard working and / or talented. Seems to me they're just putting a lot of pointless effort into their work. They don't get paid any more.

(edit) I suppose I should be happy, the extra energy they expend is probably covering up for my lack of talent.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:31, closed)

Like the old saying goes
You rise to your highest level of incompetence. Fuck knows I have. I have my sights set for No. 10 next.
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 16:01, closed)