The B3TA Confessional
With the Pope about to visit the UK, what better time to unburden yourself of anything that's weighing on your mind by posting it on the internet? Pay particular attention to the Seven Deadly Sins of lust, greed, envy, pride, posting puns on the QOTW board and the other ones. Top story gets to kneel before His Holiness's noodly appendage, or something
( , Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:47)
With the Pope about to visit the UK, what better time to unburden yourself of anything that's weighing on your mind by posting it on the internet? Pay particular attention to the Seven Deadly Sins of lust, greed, envy, pride, posting puns on the QOTW board and the other ones. Top story gets to kneel before His Holiness's noodly appendage, or something
( , Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:47)
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Tramps and fireworks. You don't need to read past the title.
First time poster, long time lurker, be gentle, softly, softly.
Anyway - It's Christmas eve, 2008. Cusco, Peru. It'd been a rather eventful day (a story perhaps I should've posted last week but late as usual) and feeling the need to de-stress we all went out for drinks in Cusco - little did we know that Christmas Eve in Peru is like New Year's on speed here, literally everyone crammed into the square getting rat arsed and partying like it's 2008. There are some particularly enterprising young shits aged from 8-10 selling fireworks to pissed tourists in order to scrape together a few monies for llama feed or whatever they buy with it. They had a peculiar marketing strategy - if you didn't buy their fireworks they'd start launching them at you, so an Aussie from our tour group bought a fistful of rockets and firecrackers, we let a few off and thought nothing of it. Being the total pisshead I am, I agreed to be the fireworks "mule" and carry them on my person as we entered the club, just in case we're searched. The night goes on, I get progressively more drunk, and as we're looking out of a balcony Joey (one letter changed for coincidental lulz) pointed out one of the kids who'd been launching fireworks at him all night, and suggested that I fire a firework over to scare him. I decide that wouldn't be accurate enough, so construct a makeshift bazooka using a beer bottle as a rudimentary aiming device. I miss spectacularly and hit a lit oildrum around which a group of tramps were huddling. The rocket exploded lighting up the whole square, and sending the tramps fleeing.
I cried with laughter at the time, and took at as some sort of reverse karma for the shite day I'd just had, but I feel guilty now. I think no tramps were harmed in the making of that lol.
length? About 9 inches, including the stick.
*ninja edit* I seem to recall through the mists of alcohol that immediately after I was approached by a HUGE bald egyptian guy, looking meanacing as hell, thinking I was about to get my ass handed to me, who proceeded to high five me and said "Good effort". :|
( , Thu 2 Sep 2010, 4:49, 1 reply)
First time poster, long time lurker, be gentle, softly, softly.
Anyway - It's Christmas eve, 2008. Cusco, Peru. It'd been a rather eventful day (a story perhaps I should've posted last week but late as usual) and feeling the need to de-stress we all went out for drinks in Cusco - little did we know that Christmas Eve in Peru is like New Year's on speed here, literally everyone crammed into the square getting rat arsed and partying like it's 2008. There are some particularly enterprising young shits aged from 8-10 selling fireworks to pissed tourists in order to scrape together a few monies for llama feed or whatever they buy with it. They had a peculiar marketing strategy - if you didn't buy their fireworks they'd start launching them at you, so an Aussie from our tour group bought a fistful of rockets and firecrackers, we let a few off and thought nothing of it. Being the total pisshead I am, I agreed to be the fireworks "mule" and carry them on my person as we entered the club, just in case we're searched. The night goes on, I get progressively more drunk, and as we're looking out of a balcony Joey (one letter changed for coincidental lulz) pointed out one of the kids who'd been launching fireworks at him all night, and suggested that I fire a firework over to scare him. I decide that wouldn't be accurate enough, so construct a makeshift bazooka using a beer bottle as a rudimentary aiming device. I miss spectacularly and hit a lit oildrum around which a group of tramps were huddling. The rocket exploded lighting up the whole square, and sending the tramps fleeing.
I cried with laughter at the time, and took at as some sort of reverse karma for the shite day I'd just had, but I feel guilty now. I think no tramps were harmed in the making of that lol.
length? About 9 inches, including the stick.
*ninja edit* I seem to recall through the mists of alcohol that immediately after I was approached by a HUGE bald egyptian guy, looking meanacing as hell, thinking I was about to get my ass handed to me, who proceeded to high five me and said "Good effort". :|
( , Thu 2 Sep 2010, 4:49, 1 reply)
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