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This is a question Conned

swiftyisNOTevil writes, "I have recently become obsessed with the BBC Three show 'The Real Hustle' - personally, I think of it as a 'How To' show for aspiring con artists."

Have you carried out a successful con? Perhaps you hustled a few quid off a stranger, or defrauded a multi-national company. Or have you been taken for the wide-eyed, naive rube that you are?

(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 13:02)
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His name was Carlito Whartborf and his tippy tappy toes danced their way into my black dreaded heart.
"Picture it, Sicily 1942, me and your uncle vito had just gotten married." I grabbed the remote and switched the golden girls off. I hated Blanche's wide gauping face and Kraftwerk's song about "Bea Arthur Robots" had smeared the whole show with honest German faeces.
I dug deep into my fetid bunch and scratched my underdougies with great gusto.
I opened my awful blinds and there she was.
A vision of beauty.
Benazir Bhutto stood glaring back in, her eyes transfixed on my iphone.
"Gadget!" she screamed.
I lifted the rusty lock and opened the window.
Benazir grinned at me, her 'Ronnie Barker' national health spectacles did nothing to disguise her beauty.
"Gadget!" she bellowed.
I reached over and handed her the iphone, "you just move your finger over it" I reasoned.
Benazir threw the phone onto the ground, smashing it to pieces.
"More!" she screamed.
I tossed her my blackberry, her eyes lit up. "Is this love?" she asked pointing to the awful device. "Blackberry" I gasped, "they're made by RIM" I added.
Her face changed from smiling to grimacing as she hurled the blackberry down onto the marble staircase. It fell to pieces and lay still at the bottom.
Benazir and I stood eye to eye. Glaring at one and other, and with that, she lifted her dress at the front exposing what I can only describe as the most fearsome growler I have ever had the misfortune to encounter.
"..but-" before I had a chance to respond she scooped up the cat and scurried into the forest gnawing on the startled creature.
She was never seen again but I will never forget her hot breath.
For four years I received a hot turd in the mail. There was no letter but I knew it was her.
Benazir and I are very much in love.

She stole my heart.... and my cat.

Imagine if this is the last story ever written about her. I will have to go into hiding.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 13:09, 12 replies)
Someone has turned this site into the Thomas Pynchon appreciation society without letting me know...

Oh, well: time for a song, then!
(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 13:22, closed)
That is
a cruel thing to put before a man who hasn't had his coffee yet.

I can already tell that today is going to be weird...
(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 13:56, closed)
What the fuck?
What a load of wank - is this the return of stusut??

(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 13:56, closed)
I wasted time reading that...damn!
(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 14:01, closed)
welcome to ignore

(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 14:18, closed)
I had an acid flashback just reading that - and I've never taken acid
(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 14:38, closed)
Actually, I like this...
...not quite sure how it relates to QOTW though.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 15:54, closed)
She stole my heart damn you all! and also my feline companion.
He may not have had the loyalty of a dog but he certainly looked tasty.

and no. stusut79 returned on the last question of the week.

This is the return of something else.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 16:01, closed)
too close for comfort?
(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 23:46, closed)
reminds me of those random emails you get with the best new stock advice or cheap viagra. a stream of words that make no sense. except these almost do....
(, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 3:40, closed)
Thank you b3ta gods for the 'reply' button
It's the second-best thing ever to happen to the QOTW, after the 'ignore' button.
(, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 11:05, closed)
I like the fact
I like the fact that someone chose to ignore me based on my first post.
What a society we live in.
Some new cat's wont remember my name, but I have been here for a long time.

This post.

A chilling vision into the future based on hightened tentions in the middle east and the fact that I am not stupid.
I was actually hurring to write it before a bomb went off.
(, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 12:13, closed)

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