Did I win or not?
Picture the scene…

Bristol Temple Meads station, wino-smack head approaches and says, 'Mate, I'm short of my train fare home, can you give us a quid so I can get myself to Weston Super-Mare?'

I oblige.

Next day, same ned approaches and says, 'Mate, I'm short of my train fare home, can you give us a quid so I can get myself to Weston Super-Mare?'

All said within ear shot of the British Transport Police officer standing near us. (BTP aren't real old bill, they just ride around the country listening to football fans singing songs).

So, following yesterday's 'donation' I am starting to smell a rat and I ask the smack head, 'How much is the fare?' he replies with something along the lines of 'a fiver' and 'I only need a pound' - clearly, he's trying to con me. One, Bristol Temple Meads is a shithole of a station and you wouldn't want to wait there even if you were skint, two, you wouldn't make the same mistake twice, if you ran out of money yesterday, you wouldn't get a train to Bristol the following day and three - I had huge doubts about his other four-quid.

Anyway……. I've piped up with, 'tell ya what, you give me your four quid and I'll go and buy your ticket!'

Copper start to snigger. Smack head bloke looks confused.

Smack head mumbles, 'I might need more than a quid actually' - I replied, 'well, give us what you've got and I'll make up the difference!'

Copper starts to see something good might happen.

Copper pipes up with, 'That's very kind of the gentleman isn't it? Tell you what, once you've got your ticket, I'll escort you on your train journey to make sure you get to Weston without any problems!'

And so that's what happened. Smack head ended up giving me no money, which was a shame, so I was down about six quid, but the copper had a whale of a time getting to watch someone who really didn't want to go to Weston being forced to go there.

Technically, I'm out of pocket and to a degree, I was conned. However, in terms of being stitched up good and proper, the smack head who didn't want to go to Weston Super-Mare was!!!!

I'm claiming a win for that.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 17:09, 8 replies)

definitely a win
well done - that idiot smack head deserved it

I hope everyone follows your lead and sends all the smack heads to Weston-Super-Mare.

Perhaps they could make a living offering piggy back rides along the beach as I believe all the donkeys are gone now :)

P.S. I am evil ;)
(Zuffle farts silently in lifts then leaves the warm aroma, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 17:32, closed)

Same sort of thing,
but the guy needed 20p, to phone his brother, 'cos he'd locked himself out the car, and needed the spare key. He looked desperate, but I obliged, he was very thankful, and promised to pay me back. I was walking up the same road AN HOUR LATER, same guy, same story; I said don't you know me? I just gave you sodding 20p. His response? Well give me another 20p, and I'll give you back 40. Un-fucking-believable.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 18 Oct 2007, 18:19, closed)

Weston
All the country's smack heads are already in WSM - the council takes money for allowing them in, then conveniently lets them duck out of rehab programs. All well and good, free money for the council, but the pikey bastards are dicking about weston stealing my purse.

I love weston, but it's full of thieving chav scum.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 18 Oct 2007, 19:03, closed)

Hahahaha, thats just made my day
Well done, you genius.

What an exceptional QOTW.
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 19:30, closed)

the best
absolutely the best pay back i've ever heard of!!
fanfuckingtastic!!!
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 19 Oct 2007, 3:17, closed)

There's a beggar in Birmingham
Who's been pregnant for about three years.
( Beve The Spaniard broke off his horse's head, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 12:21, closed)

Definitely
a win.

I'm SO going to use this one in Manhattan.
( Rob T Firefly talked, like, William Shatner, on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 20:11, closed)

Another excellent idea!
:D
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 22:20, closed)