I was on my way to the train station in Melbourne one fine day...
and was approached by a little old lady, looked like someones grandma.. As I was pulling out my packet of cigarettes she approached..

"Hallo Love, Can I have a smoke?" - butter couldn't melt in her mouth.

I looked at this little old grandma, and suddenly the fury of having been asked for cigarettes by random entitled losers came to a head within me.

"No" I calmly replied, lit my cigarette and put the near full packet back into my handbag.

"What??!!" This harpy screeched! "You Nasty Little BITCH!"

Someone's dear little Grandma was clearly off her meds

I gave her my most practised look of derision and flicked my barely dragged upon cigarette into the gutter beside her.

"You're a nasty girl and you have a fat arse!" She shrieked into my casually retreating back.

Upon hearing this, I turned mid walk. "Maybe you should quit smoking and use the extra pension money to buy a razor for your mustache you f*cking obese cunt"

She was shocked into silence and my victory over the sweet old grandmother was won.

I refuse to be conned into giving smokes to little old ladies who are crazy assholes in disguise.
(Sammyj, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 4:09, 7 replies)

Yeah! But was she correct?
Do you have a fat arse?
(Roger Darce sold his birthright for a mess of pottage, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 8:04, closed)

Proportionately.. maybe
I have a 26 inch waist and a 32 inch arse so it looks big I suppose ... but by no means fat.

She was like 3 metres around and was wearing a moomoo.
(Sammyj, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 8:16, closed)

when
skanky little kids ask me for a smoke I always make a roll-up, light it, look them in the eye and say

"I don't smoke"

And then wander off.

tightwad little fuckers, buy your own
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 9:25, closed)

Cigarette Karma
Ive accumulated a lot of positive cigarette karma over the years, not just giving to those that ask but openly giving cigs away whilst gurning my tits off. However I have found that the one person never to ask for a cig in a club is a fit bird. Never works. Also if a fit bird comes out of the haze toward you its you cig not your pink cigar they're after. Still cant smoke in clubs anymore anyways, shame, now they just smell of b.o.
(photot, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 9:50, closed)

I was at a rave,
(yes, I'm old, they were still called that), out my nut and chewing like mad. This guy asks for some gum, and I've run out; can I borrow yours a minute then? Seriously, he wanted to BORROW a strangers gum, and then give me it back, Jesus. I danced off, rather disgusted.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 19 Oct 2007, 10:33, closed)

I rarely pay for cigs
so when I do, I am karmically obliged to give them to anyone who asks. Try it if you ever see me with cigarettes.

In fact, the last time I paid for a cigarette was when a homeless guy asked me for a dollar, and I said "Sure, for a drag of your cigarette", and he sold me a fresh one for a dollar. :)
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 13:09, closed)

Cigarette Karma
When I'm around mates or at a party or if someone I know or work with asks me for a smoke, then sure.. I'm always generous.. help yourself I say and then 10 minutes later I'm off to the dairy.

but when some person I don't know expects one from me (happened daily when I was out and about) it really pissed me off... and until I learned to say no I was only able to smoke about half of my own pack!

Anyway I quit a few months back to put money towards another unhealthy vice, Red bull anyone?
(Sammyj, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 1:26, closed)