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This is a question Conned

swiftyisNOTevil writes, "I have recently become obsessed with the BBC Three show 'The Real Hustle' - personally, I think of it as a 'How To' show for aspiring con artists."

Have you carried out a successful con? Perhaps you hustled a few quid off a stranger, or defrauded a multi-national company. Or have you been taken for the wide-eyed, naive rube that you are?

(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 13:02)
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Young+horny+gullible = ££££££!
I'm sure I'm not the only one here to fall for this (at least, I hope I'm not).

Picture the scene, if you will. Four guys in their early twenties have just stumbled off the train at Euston. They're down in London from deepest, darkest Shropshire for a stag weekend.

Naturally, being young and stupid they head for Soho. And, naturally, being young, stupid and horny, they head for the nearest "gentlemen's club." But, also because they are young, stupid, horny and poor, they don't head for a reputable establishment such as the Raymond Revue, or the like. Oh no, they head for the seediest, most out-of-the-way, back street strip club they can find.

The girl at the door is extremely friendly. She tells them that it only costs a fiver to get in. A fiver? That's practically free! They all troop downstairs and duly hand over their 5 pounds.

They are seated in a waiting room, and more friendly girls come over and chat to them about where they're from and what they're doing in London. The lads chat away and, every so often, grin at each other - they've truly stumbled upon an onanistic pleasure palace here!

At this point a slightly older woman comes in. She wants to talk business. She points out to the lads that, just by entering the premises, they now owe £250. The lads are quite taken aback by this, and quite reasonably point out that this wasn't mentioned earlier. The woman, also quite reasonably points out that it written on the door, if they had only cared to look, and would they be paying the £250 now?

The young lads say no, really quite firmly. At which point the woman shouts "SECURITY!" and four beefy black guys appear from around the corner. The young lads change their tune and, after pleading poverty, manage to escape having handed over about £100.

They fall out of the door, gasping and spluttering at what's just happened. They look around with dead eyes. Never again will they see the world the same - never again will they be so naive.

Yes, ladies and gents, that is the story of how I and three others got done over in a soho clip joint. We imagined we were shrewd, men-about-town. In fact we might as well have had barley stalks sticking out of our mouths.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 20:13, 4 replies)
I logged onto b3ta to post my own story and there, first thing I saw, was yours.

It's essentially a verbatim account of what I would have written had I been quicker off the mark and, erm, written it.

The only change for me were that it was me and my mate Dan, aged about 15/16 down from Weymouth and feeling giddy with manly excitement after having snuck away from our folks to see West Ham play QPR.

We too got shafted (not in the good way) in identical circumstances. They then kept Dan hostage while I was marched to a cashpoint. Luckily all I had in my account was £40.

What makes me monumentally stupid is that I was so pissed off at spending so much and not seeing any boobs that after our release I insisted going to another venue.

This time we paid the fiver and they guaranteed full on nudey bits. Hurrah. We descended into this dark cavern where there was indeed a stripper but she wouldn't take her kit off without a tip.

I smiled obligingly, put my hand in my pocket and pulled out £3.20.

"Will that do?"

We were asked to leave soonafter. Turned out the only pair of tits on display that day were us.
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 5:54, closed)
and my bro too
exactly the same

(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 10:13, closed)
What I don't understand though is the bit where you get "marched to a cashpoint". I'm pretty sure that when I was half way to the cashpoint I would start screaming and crying like a girl until security shuffled away in embarassment. Or just walk away, they're not going to beat up a kid on the street?

Those people are out of order though, Camden council is in the process of closing them down.
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 10:24, closed)
crying like a girl would work great
IF your friend wasn't being kept back at the club
(, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 3:20, closed)

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