In a lift with the 4 year old child of my new girlfriend
who I was looking after alone for the first time . His mother and I lived on different floors of the same tower block and had got to know each other deliciously slowly over a few months . I had never really fancied anyone with children before but I was smitten and wanted to have a relationship with them as well as her and so as things progressed we decided that the time had come.
I had spent the day encouraging the wee chap to look at things and ask questions so we could get to know each other , and was enjoying seeing the world through his eyes .
I was , right up till we were in the lift back at the flats and just as the door closes junior takes my hand, looks pointedly at the only other occupant of the lift and says 'Horace,why is that lady so fat ?'
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Sun 15 May 2011, 16:59, 10 replies)

that wasn't in liverpool, was it?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 15 May 2011, 17:22, closed)

Glasgow
and the longest fourteen floors of my life .
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Sun 15 May 2011, 19:20, closed)

ah, right
had a kid in a lift ask that about me before today
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 15 May 2011, 19:40, closed)

:|
I would actually love to have a kid ask this question about me, just so I could turn around and say "BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHEN YOU EAT TOO MANY FUCKING PIES."
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Sun 15 May 2011, 21:14, closed)

that's pretty much what i did! :D

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 15 May 2011, 21:45, closed)

I squeezed the little fellow's hand and did the 'kids eh ? ' eyebrows at the lady . She just deadpanned me and continued to breathe heavily . Like I said the longest fourteen floors of my life

( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Mon 16 May 2011, 8:59, closed)

never really bothered me that much
kids say what they're thinking
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 17 May 2011, 16:22, closed)

you wanted a relationship with a four year old
honestly I thought his words in the lift were going to be "I promise I wont tell when you touched me"

sorry for any offence caused
(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Mon 16 May 2011, 13:47, closed)

classy

( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Tue 17 May 2011, 19:12, closed)

sorry
I need help!
(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Wed 18 May 2011, 9:48, closed)