An old friend had a knack for leaving us all lost for words.
In a tapas bar, after just tasting the calamari: 'These onion rings are weird'

At a petrol station, having realised she had no money: 'Can't I just fax you the cash later?'

On discussing the FA Cup: 'When do they draw the teams for the final?'

On Guns'n'Roses: 'I like their song 'Very Nice City''

On seeing The Manchester Wheel: 'They have a London Eye in Manchester now'

But my favourite, just as the waiter appeared behind her to pour some wine: 'I don't give blow jobs. I wouldn't mind but by that point I am just too desperate for a cock inside me'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 16 May 2011, 13:28, 9 replies)

If you play the vinyl of Paradise City backwards
you get Dirty Old Town.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 May 2011, 13:34, closed)

Funny
Because if you play Sweet Child O'Mine backwards you get Cats In The Cradle.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 16 May 2011, 13:39, closed)

Tell her
in her mouth counts as inside her
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 16 May 2011, 14:38, closed)

What if she's got one of those "outy" mouths?
You insensitive bastard.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:24, closed)

like Alien?

( SteamedCleaner, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:27, closed)

My first taste of calamari was by mistake.
I thought, "Ooh! Onion rings!" and took a bite. I'd heard of calamari, but had never experienced it before.

Like snails, I can't see the appeal. Calamari's one of those slightly unpleasant foods which people eat not for pleasure but simply to demonstrate how much more debonair and cultured than you they are.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 16 May 2011, 22:04, closed)

Well,
I eat it because I like it. I'm not sure exactly how something so easily mistaken for Onion Rings could be debonair and cultured anyway.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:39, closed)

Yes, you are quite right:
why on earth would anyone *want* to eat anything more outlandish than a Gregg's pasty?

*mutters*....all that foreign muck, swimming in garlic...dis-GUST-ing.
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:16, closed)

That's like claiming jellied eels are debonair and cultured.
Euch.
( SteamedCleaner, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:28, closed)