Home insurance and crap locks
Had a cretin try to break in earlier in the year, despite there being an alarm on the house and despite me being in and not answering the door. He took a run at the front door and tried to shoulder his way in. Fortunately, the response to the last twat who managed to get in was to embed a lump of angle iron in the door frame and mount the strike plate on it, so the door didn't budge (hope the fucker got himself well buised up in the process).

Anyhow, I went on a little security drive and started looking at upgrading locks in the short term, upgrading to UPVC doors, and installing some cameras. So I starts doing a little research.

Y'know those cylinder (Yale) locks you have on your front door? Well, they're shite. Turns out you can take a specially cut key that you really don't need much talent or skill to make and be inside in a matter of seconds. It's a design flaw that locksmiths have known about for something like 80-odd years. Go search on Youtube for "lock bumping"; it's rather alarming.

It turns out that some insurers put clauses in their contracts which stipulate that you have to have locks that comply with some British Standard or other. Look at the packaging for locks that comply with those standards, and you find they mention lock picking, cutting and drilling (despite the fact that most household burglars are unlikely to do any such thing because they take to long and create too much noise) but there is no mention of bumping. Try claiming where there is no evidence of forced entry. Must be your fault they got in, so we're not paying.

Another form of clause is that on a wooden door, you have to have the normal nightlatch plus a mortice lock. That makes it a bit harder to get in as the mortice locks cannot be bumped, assuming of course that you use it. I've heard tell that insurers have gotten difficult with people who have claimed after a burglary (or tried to) when they have an alarm installed but it was not enabled at the time. It's actually the reason that I never declared my alarm on my insurance, although they now say that it has to be one installed by a professional company (stupid logic on their part; I understand how my alarm works and is installed, so I can be a complete cunt and make it do things that no other alarm system would ever do). No doubt that going out and leaving the nightlatch locked and deadlocked but not the mortice is something else they're liable to use as an excuse for not paying.

Of course, the get-out clause on the mortice lock is UPVC doors where it's OK to have just a Euro Profile cylinder lock securing the whole door, even the multi-point locking system. This is odd considering that you cannot upgrade the security on these doors due to how they are made, and the fact that Euro Profile cylinders are complete pants. How to they get past your UPVC door? Simple. Just snap the lock in two, push the other half of the lock through the door and turn the cam inside the door. Access in seconds again.

So why the fuck are they getting us to install this crap? It's tantamount to saying "You might as well just wipe your arse with your policy 'cos that's all it's good for" as you wind up getting screwed over for doing what they told you to do in the first place.

What a bunch of cunts they are... and don't even get me started on car insurance!
(An eejit passing by in a purple satin skirt with sparkly bits, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 20:05, 2 replies)

Lock bumping
Luckily there are more and more anti bump lock barrels out in the market now.
Not all cases require a new lock, anti bump or bump resistant barrels can be bought from your (reputable) locksmith to replace the existing barrel. Its worth doing as, like you said, lock bumping is a piece of piss if you know what youre doing.

If that fails buy a dog the size of a hyena.
(technocore, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 3:06, closed)

Or move to somewhere that isn't a complete shithole.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 22:27, closed)

You can buy bump-proof euro profile cylinders btw, they're very expensive though!
( Alex Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver!, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:12, closed)