Ah! Yes!
A couple of years ago I booked a one night stay in what looked like an upmarket B&B near the Scots border. The plan being a nice comfortable half way stop for the RoF family on the way up to the Outer Hebrides.

On arrival we were sat down in the living room an offered a cup of tea, all good so far. The Husband half, of the couple running the place, kept us company and proceeded to give as a Paxmanesk grilling regarding jobs, politics and religion, just what you want after a long drive. During one question I was briefly distracted by the sight of a very old lady in a night dress quickly shuffling past the window….odd I thought.
A few minutes later Wife burst into the room and shouts “MOTHERS ESCAPED!!” After a little while they return with mother, who seems inordinately happy to see me and keeps repeatedly telling me “you’re a very naughty boy”. Husband and Wife grin inanely throughout, releasing the odd chuckle, as if this was a fantastically entertaining experience for me. Just when I thought things couldn’t get better, Mother looks my wife squarely in the eye and calls her ‘a beautiful nig-nog’.
On the upside this seemed to shock husband & wife into action and we were soon shown our room, which was OK once the 20 or so ghoulish looking dolls were put in the wardrobe.

It wasn't that the place was crap as such, it was just that despite the good food and warm comfortable room, the overall experience left you feeling that a well spoken couple may be wearing your skin before the night was out.

If you stay in a B&B near the borders, run by a couple who each wear a door handle on a piece of rope round their necks (I didn’t ask), do look out for Mother!
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 18 Jan 2008, 0:11, Reply)